Do you have people in your life that weigh you down? Do you leave a phone call or meeting with them feeling exhausted, drained or negative? Sometimes you may not even be aware of it, but if you see their name on your phone and you roll your eyes, or decide to let the call go to voicemail, this may be one of those people for you.
There is only so much time in a day and so much energy each person has; however, have you noticed being around some people makes the time fly and gives you more energy – while others seem to make the time go by at the speed of a slug or sap the very life out of you?
Do yourself a huge favor. Look around at the people in the past in your life – easier to start in the past – and see with perfect hindsight how you felt around them. Go through them one by one; your mother, your father, siblings, close friends, relatives. Who did you love being around; who were okay, but no great fun, and who left you unhappy or tired?
Once you recognize the feelings those feelings, take a look at those currently in your life. Whenever you have a few minutes pull up a person or two and see how these folks make you feel.
Think of it as cleaning your clothes closet. Do you love wearing it, does it make you feel good? Then keep it (them). Do you hate it and it looks awful on you, the put it in the giveaway stack (let those people go!). Perhaps the clothes are useful for gardening, working out, or painting, so while they aren’t comfortable or particularly wonderful you keep them around.
The analogy can really work. When looking at the useful people, these may be work connections that you don’t spend much time around or people as part of a committee that you need there due to their expertise. If you can limit your time around people that don’t add to your joy, but you need to keep around, so much the better.
When you realize who you want to release, don’t be mean about it and say something hurtful. You can drift off, especially if you are the one that calls because you think you should, or text or return calls farther and farther apart. We would all prefer to be let go gently and with love even if people drive us crazy. Sometimes people don’t get the hint and you simply have to say you are really busy and can’t get together.
I know relatives can be especially difficult to release. If the only time you see them are holidays and family gatherings, you can do it! Talk to others and don’t get cornered into speaking to them for a long period of time. If you do, the bathroom excuse always works…and then you can come back and hang out with a different relative.
Give yourself the freedom and the gift to have people in your life you love and who help lift you up. We all deserve that!