Do you go through life thinking you aren’t very attractive? Do you feel like an ugly duckling among the swans? Where did you get this idea?
Sometimes parents and children in school or even brothers and sisters can say things that lead us to that horrible conclusion. And why is it that when people say someone has a great personality, it means they aren’t attractive too?
Personally I think the only unattractive person is someone who is self-indulgent, mean and never think of the consequence of their actions. Even the most physically attractive person looks ugly and lose their value to me when I see them yell at their children in a store (not in a harried, last straw way, but in a mean way), hit their dog or say something cutting to their friend or spouse.
People who are physically different than us or have a disability can be the most lovely and attractive people because their heart shines through and the “pretty” ones can be quite ugly.
So look at your opinion of yourself. If it stems from other’s ideas, put them aside, and ignore everyone else’s opinion of you as well just for this moment to start. Take a few minutes and write down all the wonderful things about yourself, and I know this can be challenging sometimes. If you think you are nice, are good at something, like your nose, are a great friend, whatever it may be, write them down. You can just think them, but it is so much more powerful to write them down.
Keep going until you have at least 10 on the list. It may take a little while if you are really hard on yourself. Don’t just look at your body, look at your whole world, including personality characteristics, how you act towards others, and even style choices. Once you have your 10, really look at them and appreciate all you are for at least five minutes.
The feeling of ugly should be diminishing, but if not, choose 3 things, AND ONLY 3!!, that you don’t like about yourself. Three things you can change. Maybe you have horrible style and you need help there and need to take a friend shopping to change your wardrobe; maybe you have always wanted a nose job and you still feel that way and you need to talk to a plastic surgeon to find out if it is a good idea and how much it would cost; or maybe you feel you are kind of angry and mean and need to show more love to people, choosing to start with one person so you don’t feel overwhelmed.
People who feel ugly also tend to feel unworthy of love and all the other wonderful things in life. You are worthy! And the ugly will look a whole lot less that way if you can love yourself. If you love yourself, believe it or not, the ugly goes away when the love shines through.