What’s the Plan, Stan?

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Now that we are FINALLY leaving 2020 behind…can everyone say Hallelujah?!

Where do you go from here? Do you have a plan, a goal or a dream you want to work toward in 2021?

Maybe your goal and greatest desire is just to get out of the house; to eat at a restaurant without fear or a mask, or to finally go on that vacation you had to postpone 3 times. If you’re single, maybe you can’t wait to be able to actually be able to meet in person safely so you can tell if you have chemistry, instead of just talking on the phone or texting. Even Zoom can be tough for checking out chemistry.

If you have no plans, why not? The why is so important here. Are you exhausted or scared or just not a planner? Look at the why so you can look for a motivation to make that plan so you can move your life forward. The more you get excited about the why, the more you will want and even crave to put a plan in place; to dream that bigger dream; to make that goal that may be a step bigger than you’re comfortable with.

And if you DO have a goal, a plan or a dream in place for 2021, I recommend putting together two. Why two? What if we are free of restrictions, but what if we aren’t? If we are free, plan that travel, that larger event, or that wedding you’ve had to put off.  Maybe you want to plan a career move, a house move, or an all out run at meeting someone to have a relationship with. That’s great! Plan away with as many details as you feel comfortable with.

And, if nothing changes for at least half of 2021 – still locked down, great! You can learn that 2nd or 3rd language, do that in-depth spring cleaning and organizing, and really delve into every single piece of paper, take on line courses that interest you, or maybe even get certified in massage, or something else that matters to you.

Please don’t delay or let fear get in your way. We can never plan for every contingency, but we can roll with it and still come out a year later with something that makes a difference to our world. If you don’t have a plan, a dream or a goal, a year will still go by. You will still be that year older, but will you be any happier, any more successful or any more at peace?

What’s the plan?

My plan is to focus on my YouTube channel and retooled podcast, Living Your Limitless Life, so this blog will be put on hold for a time. There are a couple of years of content on my website (www.connect2joy.com), so please read through them and connect with me if you want more (carol@connect2joy.com). If I get enough requests, I’ll start the blog back up again.

Happy 2021 everyone!!!

Allow Yourself to Fly High

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When things are going fabulously, do you enjoy them? Do you flat out make a full STOP and just feel through what’s happening? The old saying is to stop and smell the roses, and especially when things are going well, we need to do that. To pat ourselves on the back when we’ve achieved something; a promotion, a new house, a great relationship, or some other success.  We certainly are great at blaming ourselves when they don’t so why not pat ourselves on the back when they ARE going well? When we HAVE done something we’re proud of?

There are always things that hit us that stop the upward spiral. Maybe it’s something that seems small – someone says or does something that hurts us, our boss belittles us, or a big bill hits us we didn’t expect. Or maybe it’s something bigger that torpedoes our good time – we get fired or laid off, our girlfriend/boyfriend breaks it off, or a spouse asks for a divorce, a medical issue comes up, or a death rocks our world.

When we can really take the time to relish when things are going well, it will help those times when they aren’t going so well. We’ll really remember the feelings we had during those good times and the bad times may feel less…well, bad. Once you’ve raised your vibration up high enough, you simply don’t fall down as far the next time.

So don’t rush onto the next thing on your list that has to be done. Don’t cut short the good times by keeping yourself busy. Allow yourself, when you’re flying high to feel those feelings; the pride, the joy, the elation…really savor those times. Feel into them. Let them bring a smile on your face and the joy in your heart.

Who is Your Hero?

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When you think back on your life, who did or do you look up to as your hero? Your father or mother? Grandfather or grandmother? Perhaps a political figure, an action figure, a sports figure, or even a movie star. Think back. Really focus in on who it was. This would be someone you either wanted to emulate or become when you grew up – or even now, want to be like someday.

Play a little game with me. Name three things that made them your hero. Were/are they brave, fearless, successful, attractive, powerful, rich…what IS it about them that attracted them to you as a hero?

My hero was a grandfather I never met. He was a musician and lived the first half of his life in Germany.  He did a variety of things including, a clockmaker, a musician, a conductor, and a few other things. He led a dance orchestra, and walked on the cobblestones of his German town with a marching band knocking his two front teeth loose due to the jarring with the brass instrument he played. He composed music for his family to play, since all of them played stringed instruments. So many things.

Really look at your hero. What was it about him or her that make or made them special to you?  And now, find three adjectives that apply to them. My grandfather was detail oriented, creative and musical. Look at those three adjectives. Did you know that they apply to you as well? If you used an adjective like brave or fearless, do you see a reflection in part of your life? If you don’t, ask someone close to you. Do you see me as brave or fearless in any part of my life? Even if you don’t see it yourself, you’ll be surprised at what others see in you.

So, who’s your hero? Why are they one to you? And realize that somewhere along the line, you DID take on those characteristics. Don’t be amazed if somewhere along the line YOU are someone’s hero too.

Can You Find Joy in the Face of Fear?

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When the world appears to be in shambles around you and fear is constantly your companion, can you find the lighter side? Can you release the fear and allow yourself to rise above it?

I’ve noticed that when you post something on Facebook that hits a nerve, people are very quick to jump all over you; to judge; and to say you’re wrong. Don’t make fun of this or that, it’s serious! It’s life threatening. Whether it’s about the political things happening in the United States or COVID and all it entails, people react.

Every once in a while, I post something that is put forward to lighten the world and bring a few chuckles to distract folks from what’s happening in the world, and they do just that; judge and say nasty things.  While social media is a place to connect, so many times, it’s a place to vent; to throw out all the negative things that happen that day; things in the past you’d only tell your best friend or your spouse, or to react to what someone says in a negative, accusatory way that is bound to make the person posting feel less than enough.

Take a moment before posting or responding to other’s posts. What do you plan to say? Is it coming from a place of fear or judgment? How would you like to receive what you are putting out there? Think again. About why you want to say or respond to someone in that light.  And then ask yourself again how you can respond in a lighter more loving way. Find something that brings you joy and stick with it! Choose the lighter and the brighter, and yes, even the funny and the joyful to pull you through. Don’t choose the fearful, the negative or the judgmental place to live your life from.

Find people around you that can help you stay more positive and explore the whys for the dark place you may stray into from time to time. Get help if you need to. You don’t have to do it alone if it’s a scary, dark place for you.  Sometimes it’s hard to realize when it is fear leading the charge. It might seem rational, logical and just…right, to respond a certain way. But from a third-party perspective it becomes more obvious when fear comes into play.  If you can step back to see how your fear is hurting others around you, and even infecting THEM with fear, you’ll know you need to change your responses.

You can use gratitude, hope, love, peace, or any other higher emotional vibrational feelings to pull you up and out when you feel fear raising its ugly head. And the best part is, you don’t have to do it alone.

Get Off the Fence

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Are you looking at making life changes but are sitting on the fence trying to decide which way to jump?  Sometimes the old is comfortable, like an old shoe; but old shoes wear out, get holes and become…well, garbage if you keep them long enough.  And sometimes our lives feel sooo comfortable. We don’t want to change. We worry about the future and about what might happen if we step out and try something new.  But guess what? Worry is really just praying for stuff you don’t want. If you believe in the law of attraction, that which you put out there…you receive, so if you’re worrying about bad stuff happening, don’t be so surprised when it DOES happen.

So what if you have that dream, but you’re on the fence of giving it a test drive? What if you would have to move or quit your job? So what? If you’ve been on that fence a while, maybe it’s time to ask yourself a few questions.  Let’s start with these.  How big is that dream? How much do you want it? Is it worth it to try? And if you DON’T go for it, will you always be sorry? Will you get bitter as the years go on for not going down a path, or getting off that fence of indecision? Whether you’re 20 years old or 40, 10 years from now, if you’re still alive, you’ll be 10 years older. So where will you be? Still on the fence? Or will you have given up and wish you hadn’t?

The next set of questions are what if you DO go for it? Will you be sorry if you fail? Or maybe just glad you gave it a try? What if you succeed? What if it’s the best decision you could have made?

So what if something new is scary? All new things have a bit of adventure, some curiosity, maybe a teaspoon of imagination and at least a dash of fear. Have you seen what some people have achieved because they’ve taken that step and gotten off their fence?

There are so many things you can do if you would only take action! You will never know unless you take that step.

Be What You’re Looking for…

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Do you want friends that will always be there for you? Are you looking for the love of your life, but can’t seem to find him or her? Are your neighbors simply horrible?

Instead of looking outward, what if we look inward?  What if we took control and became what we’re looking for?  If you want someone who will be there for you through thick and thin; not judge you or complain about you, at least not very much; be respectful, honest and faithful…or whatever you’re looking for, what if you became that person? Mirror who you want to be.

Have you looked at who you are?  What if you decided to become more loving, less judgmental, more honest and faithful if that’s what you want from someone else? Do you know that you will attract those types of people to you? The more you love yourself at a soul level and not a superficial one, the more you’ll attract loving people to you. The more honest you are, the more people who lie will decide you aren’t for them. And the happier and more joyful you are at a deep level, the less the angry, spiteful people will be comfortable in your orbit. Your vibration will simply be too high.

Instead of lamenting what you don’t have, or judging those around you who don’t meet your expectations for your friends, your loved ones, or even your neighbors or the people you work with, what if you tried appreciating them more? Staying in a place rooted in love and peace? Some people will run screaming from the room, but many people will come up and meet or exceed your expectations if you stop ripping them up or tearing them down.

But you say, that’s a lot of work! What if it doesn’t work???

And I say…What if you tried it, and it did?

Do You Know How to Be Fully Present??

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When you carry on a conversation with someone are you fully present? If you are with someone who is distracted constantly, don’t you get a little annoyed? Nowadays people check their phones; they look around; they don’t meet your eyes…and sometimes even when they are looking at you, they don’ seem to really be in the conversation. And if you’re on a date they may be checking out other people or even flirting with them while they are with you. Argghh! Or they may be off in their own world thinking about a grocery list, how difficult their day has been, planning world peace…who the heck knows what people are thinking about??  What do you do when this happens? Do you just get annoyed? Do you say something?

On the flip side, have you ever been with someone who is fully present with you? You know if you have. It’s like a gift. The person is engaged, keeps up with the conversation moving it along, leaning in…and if their phone rings or makes noise they either reach down and turn it off without looking or apologize and pull it out to silence it without actually checking it. You feel like the most important person in their world and your self-confidence may be at an all-time high. And aren’t you super happy to be in their presence and value them as a friend?

Now, take a look at how you interact with someone. Are you more the first example or the second? Imagine how your spouse, your children, your boss and all your friends would feel if you acted more fully present for them. Are you willing to try it?

It only takes practice to pay attention like that. Try a little at a time. Don’t answer your phone unless you know something important is coming up, and then warn the person you’re with that you’re waiting for a call or a text. Don’t let your mind wander far from the conversation in one direction or another. If you are simply curious about what the person is saying and try to ask questions to get more involved, it isn’t so very hard at all. Your friends and loved ones will feel SO good in your presence and value you all the more.  In other words, the rewards…priceless!

Staying Calm During Difficult Times

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How do you stay calm when the world seems to be going crazy around you? Or do you? When politics, riots, COVID, the lock down or anything else happens out in the world, how do you react? Do you feel safe and calm in your little protected bubble; are you worried sick; are you angry; or maybe you swing wildly back and forth?

If the world is driving you crazy and you don’t like who you are nowadays, take a deep breath.  Just know, it’s probably fear of some sort. Fear of not knowing what the outcome for any of these situations will be and how it will impact you. What if the political party you don’t like takes office or the shut down due to COVID lasts for years, how will it hit the stock market, your job, the housing market, etc., etc.?  We simply don’t know. Not knowing leads to stress, fear, anxiety, depression, anger…you name it, depending on the person.

So, how do you stay calm? Many people swear by meditation. Meditation causes your brain to slow down, to be more relaxed and generally lift your vibration higher above the fears, irrational and otherwise. But anything that relaxes and calms you will work. Some people knit, some garden and some just count to 10 to relax and stay calm. Some unplug from the news and any type of social media. Others unfriend people who get nuts and rant on and on. Finding your happy place will really help you release the fear, and stepping away from the people that trigger you if at all possible is a very good idea.

So how do you stay calm? One breath at a time. Outer circumstances don’t have to influence your inner world and the way you react. The good thing is, it’s your choice.

Can You Love Everybody?

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When your religion says you have to love everybody, just how do you do that? Do you force yourself to hang out with people that you really don’t like, frustrate you, drive you crazy or just irritate the heck out of you? Do you pretend to love them?

Loving people we really don’t like can be tough if we do it from our personalities. They may seem mean, rude or obnoxious, or maybe even dangerous. From our human perspective, some people may just not be loveable. Even if we try to love them from afar, we may be kidding ourselves. So what the heck do we do if we want to give this loving thing a shot?

I find that if I can meditate or raise my vibration in some way, I raise my consciousness higher. When I feel at least a little disconnected from my regular human emotions and feel more peace or love, it is soooo much easier to then think from a higher consciousness where judgment seems to fall away. From there I can much more easily send loving thoughts to someone or wrap them in a love bubble. If you ask for their highest and best to happen, including any lessons that they need to learn, it actually ends up being fairly easy to send them the love from that standpoint. Give it a shot. You don’t have to spend more time with the difficult person, but you may be surprised that you feel calmer, safer or more loving towards them during your day to day life if you run into them. And they may act differently too.

Do You Let Opportunities Pass You By?

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When opportunities come your way do you embrace them?  Do you take a long time trying to figure out if you should say yes or no, or maybe you run screaming into the night? When you are faced with a decision with a completely unknown outcome do you – say yes to a date, to a job, to an opportunity to travel…what do you do? I know I’ve done a variety of things. Jumped in and grabbed the opportunity even if fear of the unknown hit me, delayed making up my mind until the opportunity vanished, and I’ve even said no out of fear. What do you usually do?

So many times we don’t even see an opportunity when it bites us in the butt. We may be going along our merry way even asking for change, but we don’t see it when it shows up. Why is that?

I think we are so busy with life, wrapped up with what IS that we don’t see what could be. Even when we ask for something different in our life, we may not hear what someone says that would spark that growth; an idea doesn’t take root because we aren’t paying attention.

So how do you see those opportunities clearly? Set an intention that you will be more in the now and start paying attention to everything people say and what happens around you. Try not to get so wrapped up with what you’re doing that you become oblivious and ignore opportunities when they appear.  Opportunities are everywhere to help you grow and be all that you can be, if you choose to let it be so.