I have a secret. And it’s rather embarrassing. I always had to be right. Maybe it wasn’t a secret to the people that knew me, but I certainly didn’t realize it. I always got defensive and had excuses when people came after me because I really felt if they only understood my reasons, they would know I was right in my outlook, my reactions or my attitudes. And I didn’t know that needing to be right was really a symptom of self-confidence needing a boost. Does any of this sound familiar to you?
I didn’t realize I had this problem until I took an integrity workshop and we looked at all sorts of different scenarios. Needing to be right and needing to be in control were the two things they looked at. Guess which one cropped up the most for me? Out of the two, I never would have guessed it.
When you are faced with a circumstance where you have to choose forcing your way on someone because you’re “right” vs. coming to a consensus between or among people, what do you choose? When someone asks you a question do you bristle, maybe take it personally and definitely get defensive or make an excuse? I ask this with love, because I’ve done both. And while I’m not overly pleased with the path I walked, I am very pleased that I became aware of it and realized that needing to be right, was basically a lack of self confidence on my part. It meant, I needed everyone else to agree with me so I felt validated. Ouch.
So what did I do and what can you do? You don’t necessarily have to focus on “I don’t have to be right all the time”. Working on directly raising your self-confidence level will help greatly, but it can take time and money if you work with a therapist. Sometimes you can do it differently by trying one thing which has a byproduct of raising your self-confidence and letting go of having to be right. For example, if you raise your vibration by having more peace, more love, more hope or more gratitude in your life, the lower vibration of worry you aren’t good enough or needing validation may just fall away.
The pressure of having to be right all the time is exhausting. Isn’t it worth letting it go if you can choose to live a life filled with more gratitude, hope, love and peace?