Lord Grant Me Patience…and I Want it NOW!

No matter who you are you probably need patience from time to time. Sometimes it’s with people – maybe your children, your spouse or your boss – or even just the customer service person who really seems like they’re in the wrong job…  Or it might be in a situation like being stuck in traffic, bad drivers, the job that is going nowhere, or a deal that is not moving forward. 

We all go there from time to time, and some people get impatient constantly.  The problem is, it’s really tough on our body if we don’t let it go.  The more impatient we get, the more stressed out, anxious and even frustrated we can get.  Road rage is a result of impatience gone to the extreme.  And I’m sure some abuse starts out with minor impatience that blows up all out of proportion with someone who has anger and other issues.

My mom used to say, God grant me patience, but I need it now!  Sort of a prayer, but also the absolute opposite of what patience is about.  But I got it.  You need it when you need it, right?  So ask yourself, how often do I get impatient?  And what do I do about it?  Do you blow off steam somehow?  Count to 10?  Leave the room?  Blow up at someone?  Scream in frustration?  (this works well to blow off steam in the car during stupid drivers and bad traffic for me…as long as I’m driving alone)  Look at how you handle your impatience while you’re calm.  See if it impacts you beyond the moment. 

I’ve always thought that patience isn’t something you can acquire.  It’s a byproduct.  If you can work on having more peace, more love, or more joy in your life, you’ll find that patience is an automatic.  Those things and people that used to bother you simply don’t anymore.  You may or may not realize it, but if you look back after you shift, you’ll see the difference.

So look at yourself.  What brings you peace, joy and love?  Sprinkle more of that into your life bit by bit and see if impatience doesn’t become a thing of the past.

When Do You Keep Trying and When Do You Move On?

When things aren’t going the way you want them to with a job, with a relationship, or with anything else, how long do you keep trying before you decide it’s time to move on? Do you exhaust every opportunity and every idea you have?  And when you do move on, do you feel guilty or like you have failed? 

I generally hang on for a long time if it is important to me; try everything I can think of and then sadly move on.  Other than my divorce, I generally didn’t feel guilty or like I’ve failed; and that I’ve since worked through.  So how do you decide when to move on? 

Some food for thought…if you give up really easily and move on, take a look at why you do that.  Do you just think if it isn’t easy it’s not meant to be?  If that’s the case you may be missing out on a lot.  Or maybe you’re afraid of all the work it could take and then you would still give up in the end because it wouldn’t work out.  Or perhaps it just feels like it isn’t meant to be, and you move on from a good place.

If you beat the dead horse, so to speak, working it untileveryo ne and their mother can see you should have given up a week ago, a month ago or maybe even a year ago, you might want to take a look at that.  If you think you should be doing something or in a relationship with someone, if you let go, do you feel you don’t want to be wrong?  Or maybe you feel guilty if you would be hurting someone.  Or maybe you just know something is meant to be and you are literally trying to force it to happen.

When do you know it’s time to move on?  Some soul searching does help.  First, if you can step back from whether you want something to happen or not, leaving your emotions out of it.  Then look at what’s going on in the situation you’re facing.  Does it look like it might work out?  How are you feeling?  Does it feel like it’s right, or is there just a feeling of “noooooooooooo, this can’t be wrong!”  If you feel desperate to make something happen, more than likely it isn’t right, and you are pushing what you want away.  And try not to be bull-headed and just want what you want no matter what. 

Sometimes we just need to shift our focus, for example, a job we want with a specific company that isn’t happening.  Maybe we just need to shift our focus slightly and look with a different company and everything will fall into place.  Not giving up exactly, but moving forward in a different way. 

If you can get to the point where you are clear on what you want out of the situation, you might be able to see if the person or people involved seem capable of stepping up. After all, don’t we want what’s best for us?  And if it isn’t where we are, we do know it.  We just don’t always want to admit it to ourselves.

Let’s Replace Sorry with Thank You

Are you one of those people who is always apologizing for yourself?  If you’re late you say – sorry…and then give someone an excuse?  Or you take the blame for things when it isn’t necessary?  I know a few wonderful women – although men are not exempt from this – who seem especially gracious and self-effacing.  But if you listen to them closely they are always apologizing and saying, sorry, I…

Most people aren’t even aware they’re doing this.  Sometimes it says something about their self-confidence, or lack thereof.  So if you think this isn’t you, pay attention to whenever you say you’re sorry and see if it is actually appropriate or if you are just putting yourself down and really devaluing yourself.  If it happens a lot, people who are on the other end of the “sorry” can get uncomfortable.  It almost feels like someone is placing themselves one step below you by doing this. 

And if you say “sorry” 20 times in one conversation, you are probably nervous around the person.  You may be feeling like you can’t do anything right or have them on a pedestal – like a boss, a movie star or even someone you are just attracted to.  It’s normal, but try to be aware because lacking self-confidence happens to all of us at one point or another, but how you respond is the key.

Perhaps it’s time to change our tactics so we can help our self-worth a little.  When it is appropriate to say “I apologize”, by all means do that, but how about saying thank you instead, or in addition.  An example would be… “I apologize for being late (nothing more than this) – thank you so much for waiting for me.”  Or … instead of saying I’m sorry I didn’t come through doing something you can simply thank the person who did, without referring to yourself.  This means instead of going inward and beating ourselves up, we focus outward and give credit to someone for what they’re doing. 

It may take time, effort and paying attention to change the habit, but if we can boost our self-confidence even a percentage point or two, it will make a world of difference and start us on a path to being a happier you.

Is It Time to Make Changes?

A new year can be a great time for new beginnings.  If you want to be happier and feel more fulfilled, it’s also a good time to reevaluate and see where in your life you can make changes.  I won’t lie, changes can be scary.  As they say, better to stick with the devil you know… Why do they say that again?  Oh yeah, better to stay in a life that may have an awful relationship, a demeaning job, or a house with bugs, than even the possibility of making a change if it means being alone, having no job at all or being homeless.  In other words, let’s not make any changes at all because we are always looking at the worst case scenario. 

Wait, what?  Who does that…not me…right? While we may not think we look at the worst case scenario all the time, if we don’t move forward in our life into the areas we really want out of fear, there really is some of that cloudiness in our thinking.  I think we have to get to the tipping point sometimes – that lowest low that people talk about to really make large changes. 

But maybe, just maybe if you decide not to make a change in an area of your life – if you analyze why you aren’t moving forward and see the fear, you might be able to change your perspective a bit.  Even if you change your perspective by 1% eventually your life will be totally different. 

So say you have a job you feel totally unappreciated, or you feel totally unfulfilled at, or maybe even your boss is impossible to work for…you can take the leap and quit or at least start looking for a new job, but  maybe you aren’t ready for that.  If you can find a way to shift even the smallest amount your whole attitude could undergo a huge transformation.  Perhaps by focusing on the 1 thing you enjoy doing at the job, finding nice things to say to your impossible coworkers, or even bringing in fresh flowers for your desk you could shift that 1% I mentioned above.  Enough so that the job is not quite so unpalatable. 

It’s funny because when we are closed down to the good around us, making changes can seem like huge mountains that are impossible to move or shift.  But when we open up to the possibilities they really are everywhere around us and change is a piece of cake.

How to Get Along With the Family

If you are going to be with your family for more than an hour or two do you get the, OMG, can’t I just stay home, syndrome?  Going home for the holidays or any other time can be difficult for some people.  Maybe your Aunt June complains 24/7 about her health, your dad is an alcoholic and there is always a scene, or you know your brother-in-law beats up your sister but she won’t own up to it.  What do you do?

There are various levels as mentioned above, from this person annoys me to, I want my relative locked up because they are out of control.  So how do you get along with these people, and honestly do you want to especially if they are so out of vibration with you that you can hardly stand being around them.  Let’s go through the steps for each type and see what works for you.

First, the annoying ones that you actually like or maybe even love – try not particularly listening if that bugs you – but beam love or appreciation at them.  Appreciate their clothes, their eyes, or maybe just the fact they are here in human form if you have to.  If you can beam love or appreciation from a deep place they should start losing focus and whatever they are complaining about may lose steam. They may even ask, what was I talking about again?  At that point you can redirect them to a more positive subject you would like to talk about.

What about the next step up? You love the person, but you know they are in a really bad place.  With this one, you can beam down a healing blue or green light on them.  Picture them releasing whatever is holding them back from being their best self and healing taking place at a deep level for them. Instead of focusing on the negative, try sending this healing to them.  You don’t have to say specifically what the healing is for because if you try to heal one thing, it might just be a symptom of what the real problem is. For example, don’t try to heal the alcoholism, send healing for the cause, which could be a long held secret about some sort of abuse.  This kind of healing is a true gift.

And lastly, for the person you feel is absolutely horrible, you might not be able to do either of the first two.  You may just have to put up a wall or barrier between you and that person, keeping their energy away from you.  You may actually prefer to put a bubble around that person’s aura that keeps their negative or lower vibration away from the rest of the family. 

If you really feel you’re done with your family, at least for now, you can always take a break from a gathering.  Weddings and funerals may feel required, but the rest…go with what works best for you, and don’t feel guilty for that choice!

Different Day, Same Thing? Try Something New!

Are you bored with your life?  Does every day seem to look like the last?  Even if you are super busy, that might be the case.  If you can write down on a calendar what you do every day, does it look the same or maybe just feel the same?  Even if you are having fun, if you are doing the same thing day after day you might need to change something up.

Maybe all you need to do is go to a different restaurant on date night, or go to Jack in the Box instead of McDonald’s with your kids.  Maybe shopping at a boutique instead of Walmart would be fun.  Or going to a movie instead of staying in one night.

If you are too busy, you will have to look at your life and see what you can cut out, delegate or save time by combining tasks.  Choose something fun to do.  What about classes at the local recreation department if they have them; at the senior center if you are the right age, a dance studio, yoga studio or trying martial arts.  You can take classes at the local junior college or join a local travel club. 

Look at a list of what’s available and pick out a couple that might be fun.  Sometimes the whole family can participate.  Be creative and you’ll find that boring will be a thing of the past.  And you might even get a whole new lease on life.

Be Careful What You Ask For!

Are you wondering why your life looks like it does?  Are you happy with your life or are strange or not so wonderful things showing up?  Why does this happen?

If you are the praying type – when you pray for a specific outcome and something slightly different or maybe even the opposite shows up, do you give up praying?  Or if you aren’t and you know you want something specific and maybe you believe in the law of attraction, somehow that may not be working for you either.

Manifesting what you want can be as easy as A, B, C or 1, 2, 3 – but only if you are super careful what you ask for.  If you are willing to take a step back and listen to what you are actually saying, you might realize that what we are asking for isn’t clear.  Or maybe you phrase it in such a way that it comes off negative.

For example, maybe you are dating people that are way off from what you really want, but you are saying you want someone who has a good job and is making good money.  The person that shows up may have zero time for you because the job is so busy they are working a ton of hours.  Or they may be making a lot of money but have two ex-wives and 5 kids they are supporting.

If you go to buy a house or even look for an apartment, generally you know how large, and how many bedrooms and bathrooms you want, but if you aren’t specific, you could end up with a place in an unsafe part of town, maybe with insects you would rather not see, or even just with three flights of stairs instead of on the ground floor.

For me the three rules of manifesting – #1 be specific, #2 Be Specific, and #3 BE SPECIFIC!! 

It will truly get you what you want.

How Do I Find My Path?

What’s your path?  Do you know what your purpose is or why you are here?  If not, no worries.  Most people don’t.  It seems like it has to be this really grandiose dream that will change the world, but really it could be something small that makes a difference a little at a time.

I’ve spoken on YouTube about knowing your “Why”.  Why are you here, what makes you get up in the morning…and really it doesn’t have to be huge.

If you have no idea what your path is, make a list of the following

  • what makes you feel good
  • your talents and things you are particularly good at
  • personal traits that shine
  • anything you’ve said to yourself over and over (mine was I’d like to heal and inspire others)
  • anything others have said to you that rings true that you’ve heard more than once

After you’ve really looked at your list and come up with something that feels right – only then would you ask yourself how you will implement what your path is.  If your path is to make the disabled lives’ better, do you teach, or raise funds, or build homes for them, or maybe you run for politics and work from that angle.

If your why rings true, but you feel off, look at how you are choosing to accomplish your path and try a different angle.

When you start moving forward on your path and everything falls into place, you know you are getting it right.  Congratulations!!  It really does make the world a richer and more fulfilling place.

Jump on in, the Mud is Fine…

Imagine you are walking along in a great mood and someone; a friend, a loved one, or someone you just met walks up to you and starts unloading about how horrible of a day they’ve had, about how their boss is impossible, their spouse doesn’t understand them or their kids never listen…do you identify with their feelings and/or story and get sucked right into their energy and lose your perspective and outlook?  How is your mood when they leave you?  Is it as good or the same?  If you were really sucked in, probably not.  You are probably ready to unload on the next likely suspect that comes along ruining their good mood (because they let you) and passing the bad mood around like a basketball.

So how can you start changing this pattern?  How can you care about what someone is saying and yet not get sucked in?  Try imagining you in your good mood walking along in a park and someone walks up to you and starts complaining, explaining or just basically is stuck in their negativity.  If you think of them wallowing in their mud – yes like a little pig, but don’t lose your empathy! – build a corral around them and stay on the outside.  When you are thinking of climbing over the fence to join them, step back.  Hold your space and stay out of their muck.  You can still care, love and support someone without stepping into the muck with them.

Imagine how much better you’ll feel when they walk away if you only get a little mud splashed on you instead of jumping in with both feet!  They will still feel heard and you can come away in your good mood you had when you started or maybe even better because you supported someone who needed it.  It just takes a little awareness and practice.

How do I Change My Life? Step by Baby Step

Is your life going in the wrong direction?  Or maybe you’re bored and everything seems ho hum?  Is it time to make some changes, but you don’t know which way to go?

There are so many choices we can make to change our life, but it can all be so confusing and we may get stuck; stuck in the stuff we know vs. trying something new or planning for a different life.  Maybe we have fear of the unknown or just fear that where we are going will be worse than where we are.  Some people just hate change because anything unknown is bad…even something that will turn out well, or wonderful.

The main thing is that you make a decision.  Move in one direction or another. You can always change the direction, but if you don’t move at all, you will never get anywhere.  Remember that whatever you are thinking about and doing today, will be what is your reality tomorrow, so if you don’t care for where you are now, do you want to be in the same place 5 years from now, or 10 years from now?  If your answer is a resounding NO!  Then you know it’s time.

So look at the decisions that shape your life every day.  If you aren’t sure where to start, find one thing that you usually go right on and go left, or at the very least go straight ahead.  Instead of stopping at one store, try another; try a different church one time; take a class in something you are interested in.  Just do something

I was ready for a huge change in my life after my divorce and after one year I hardly recognized myself.  Things fell into place so quick I felt like a different person.  But not everyone is ready for that.  And that’s okay.  If you are adverse to change, the first step is the most difficult, so give yourself a pat on the back even if all you do is shift one thing in your life slightly differently.  Because after that first step, little by little you can take more and more baby steps towards change and before you know it, those small steps will lead you to a life you love living.

Just take that first step.