Focus!! Focus on Your Goals!!!!!

When my mind was wandering in school the teacher always told me – Focus!  Focus!!

Are you getting an “A” in life? Or are you wandering in circles doing the same thing but not finding your dream?  Personally I didn’t even have a dream beyond some vague idea.  My first step was realizing that I felt like I was wasting my life and not accomplishing anything, which started with a vague unease that my life could and should be more.

But where do you go from there?  I tried doing all sorts of things to move myself along including wishful thinking about the relationship I wanted; classes, both spiritual and college-type; church; talking to friends; you name it.

I finally realized that trying to change my life by “doing” without any clear destination and a plan to get there, I was wandering around in circles.  So now what, I asked myself?  Ahhhhh.  First, who do I want to be?  Who would I need to be in order to feel fulfilled and find joy, and yet still be in my integrity?

When that became clear, the what to “do” next part to change my life, came more and more into focus……hmmmm… teachers certainly had that right!  Are you focusing on the goal that brings you joy right now?  Do you know who you want to be??

BAM Out of Nowhere!!

I loved paying tag as a kid. I was the fastest child on the elementary school playground, so I was rarely “it”.  It felt like flying and no one could catch me.  And then one day when I was 9 or 10, I looked over my shoulder to make sure no one was behind me, I turned my head back and… BAM… the next thing I knew I was in the nurse’s office wondering what had hit me and how I had gotten there.  I certainly had no memory of walking there, or had an angel picked me up and carried me?  I never did find out how I got there!  BTW, it was a basketball pole I had run into…a really big one!

Has that ever happened to you?  Everything seems to be fabulous; you are having a great time and then…BAM…some situation comes out of nowhere and whacks you just like a big old basketball pole?  What do you do?  Lay there?  Pretend it didn’t happen?  Fall apart?  Accept help?  Or maybe even blame the basketball pole for being there in the first place?  And yes, I’ve made every one of those choices at one time or another.

Life can appear to be so unfair when something comes up that takes us off our journey.  And sometimes our journey changes completely due to the incident.

The absolutely best thing you can do at the first opportunity is take the step back from what is happening and shift your perspective.  Quiet your mind, which can be difficult in the middle of chaos!  Breathing is great.  That’s why so many meditation gurus say to concentrate on your breath.

And then, look at what has happened from an outside point of view, or from the view of the other person if someone else was involved.  Check in with how you feel.  Once you do that, if it feels right, shift your viewpoint to a future perspective – say three years. Does this thing even matter?

Doing this can help you see the situation for what it is, and then grow and learn from it.  You may even find the new journey is better than where you were heading in the first place.

Why, Why, Why??

Why do people question us; our motives and our desires?  Could it be a reflection on the fact that we question ourselves on every turn?  We say – why didn’t I get that promotion; why did that person dump me; why did they ghost me; why did that deal fall through; why can’t I figure out what I want to do when I grow up; why don’t I exercise when I know I should…ad infinitum.

So many times the whys add up to “why am I not good enough?” or “why don’t people appreciate me more?”, or even “why don’t they love me?”  All of this can lead to depression, anxiety, worry and just plain unhappiness.

My why for all of us is this – why are we so hard on ourselves??  It isn’t that we have to have huge walls to keep others out and to keep them from hurting us, when we do such a great job of doing it for ourselves.

Try looking at the outside world as a reflection of our own insecurities and fears.  Do we have someone telling us we aren’t good enough to do something?  If so, do we have a secret fear this is actually true and they are just reflecting this back to us?  If so, thank that person in your heart for bringing it to your attention and then work on that insecurity and fear.  If the “I’m not good enough” comes from inexperience, take the step and find some relevant experience.  If it comes from a lack of knowledge, take a class or google what you need to know from a credible source.  Don’t let the insecurity freeze you in place.  It is only there because you haven’t shed any light on it.

And when you do set a goal and do something whether small or large to reach it, find a way to celebrate yourself for getting there.  Something that empowers you and doesn’t divert you from your path.  If you want to celebrate by having a banana split when you haven’t had one in forever; or buy a new dress you’ve had your eye on; or even taking the time out of your busy day for a bubble bath or a movie.  Do something that means something to you. No excuses, just do it!  Celebrate!

So remember.  Don’t let the whys of life bury you or freeze you from moving forward.  Think of the whys as a gift and a learning lesson.  Once you are aware of them, you can be or do whatever you want to, even if it’s just a baby step at a time.  And remember to celebrate every win no matter how small.  Love yourself a little more every day and the people of the world will start reflecting that back to you.  It will go from “why did you do that, that’s stupid” to “why did you ever think of that, that’s brilliant!”  That’s when you’ll know you have shifted to a new way of thinking – and then you can celebrate again!!

Bounce That Bad Mood!!

Have you ever been so far down you felt like you would never climb out of the hole you felt like you were in?  Whether it’s depression, a bad relationship, a wrong decision that had terrible consequences or money problems, sometimes it can feel like the end of the world.  But some humans have an amazing way of bouncing back.  What makes that happen for some people and not for others?

For some, it’s attitude.  For others, it’s faith.  And for yet others, it’s a knowingness.  An attitude that says never give up, something better is going to come along.  Faith that says, God has something better in store for me, I just have to believe.  A knowingness that all is well and there is a reason for what seem to be the down times.  And things just seem to turn around for them; sometimes pretty fast.

The others, well they dwell on the bad stuff.  There is never enough money to get by.  The man or woman in their life will always lie and cheat.  Someone at work is out to get them.  And they wonder why things just keep getting worse.

You may know the law of attraction or you may not, but basically it says whatever you focus on you get more of.  If you look at a person dispassionately and listen to what they say, you can tell what tomorrow will be for them.  Will things turn around or are they due for more of the same?

We’re all having a human experience and sometimes it takes a little longer to bounce back than others, especially if they are deep issues for you.  Don’t beat yourself up if you need some time to move through an experience.  But if you need motivation to heal, forgive or move on, just ask yourself – – – do you want more of the same tomorrow?  If not, maybe you’re ready to turn your thoughts around and begin to bounce back and start a new chapter where prosperity, great relationships and happy times can grow.


Happy Fabulous New 2018

Everyone I know is celebrating the fact that 2017 is complete.  Is that you as well?  In 2017 there was so much violence and of course, our country is still in total disharmony from the top down…

Like Harry Potter, I personally felt like I was going thru a time of transfiguration; a huge shift, which can and did get uncomfortable.  I went from my fears, doubts and worries screaming at me – what the heck are you doing??!!?? – to a calmness and a knowingness that I was on the right path even if I didn’t know how to get from here to there…wherever there is.

So, how are YOU doing?  Are you dreading and fearing 2018 or happy to be moving forward?  If you feel like you want more and should be more, you aren’t alone.  The whole world is going thru massive shifts.

If you want to have different things in your life, be different!  Don’t keep doing the same things over and over

and expect something different.  It NEVER works!  And there you are 20 years later wishing that you had taken the time to be who you truly are sooner.

We can start by choosing our thoughts more positively and directed toward what we want instead of thinking of what we don’t want.  Choose to smile instead of smacking someone that deserves it.  Give love instead of hate, annoyance or frustration.  But don’t shove down your emotions.  Close out the world for a moment and find your now moment. The moment where the world quiets and is still. There our life will shift and become more.

It’s time for all of us to release the old fears, habits, worries, and any programming that doesn’t serve us anymore.  We can do it.  Let’s wave our magic wand and celebrate that we are capable of becoming more than we were before…our true authentic selves.

Do You Say BAH at Christmas?

How are you doing this Christmas season?  Are you, or someone you know saying – stop the world I want to get off!  Sometimes it gets too much because we feed into the commercialism and the expectations of others, and sometimes it gets too much because we are alone or things have happened that make us lose our heart and our Christmas spirit all year round.  Where do you fit?  How about your loved ones?

If you don’t like, or get overwhelmed at Christmas, stop and reflect for just a moment.  You truly do know why this is the case.  You can choose to find your joy again, to find that spirit that is what Christmas is all about, and even take it into the New Year and the rest of your life.  It may or may not take work, but it is soooo worth it!

So let’s look at the why.  Examine it even if it’s painful just for a second.  Is this feeling serving you?  Even if it is a death or a terrible betrayal – or if it is feeling lonely because your family is all gone or far away – is your life better for the feelings and attitude you are having?  Would it be better if you could let those feelings go and replace them with gratitude, peace or joy?  It is easy to look at someone else and say – hey, snap out of it! – but when someone says it to us….watch out!!  We need to stay where we are…well, as long as we need to stay there.  But if you are ready, really ready, to take your life back and find your joy and Christmas spirit, you can do it!!

I recommend then taking a test step to see how you feel.  Wherever you are that feels safe, close your eyes and then smile; quiet your mind for just a moment (you can do it!) and focus on an energy power center about 3 inches above your belly button.  Feel the quiet and the peace flooding into that spot.  If joy doesn’t flood in as well, relive one moment when it did.  If you can do that you can have joy and peace filling your life on a regular basis.  Just keep extending that moment by a minute until you feel it kicking in more and more often in your regular, eyes open, life.  The trick is not to let any circumstances yank you out, and if they do, to go back to that still small moment that can make a huge difference.

There are lots of ways – but why don’t you start with realizing that you have the power to be whoever you wish to be, so if you do want to move forward into a better place, you can!!!  The decision is the first step.  If you feel overwhelmed, get help from a therapist, a coach or a guide if you need to – a neutral third party is great if you have the right fit.

It may take work and time, but it is SO worth it to give yourself this gift, so you can become your most authentic, beautiful self.  And if you add gratitude even the smallest thing that you love about your life, or about your past into the mix, you will quantum leap your progress.

A truly Merry Christmas and happy holidays to everyone from my open and joy-filled heart to yours.

Have You Google Mapped Your Dream?

Do you have a big dream?  Or even a big goal?  Do you know the difference?  My definition is that in a goal, I know the steps on how to get from here to there, but a dream it’s just that, a wish for the future, I’m not quite sure how to reach.  What’s your definition?  Now, mind I’m not saying my goals are all achieved because sometimes I don’t actually take the steps, but I do recognize what it would take to get from point A to point D.  I recognize the B and C steps.  A dream, not so much.  It is usually bigger and I need to get from point A to point L or M, and I usually know 2 or 3 steps on the way, but the rest is all a big question mark with faith attached.  Sooo, are you taking the steps to make your life what you truly want?

I remember a class from a great speaker that likened a dream coming true to driving a car.  First you have to find the right one; you know, the one that fits and feels really good when you test drive it.  You may have to try out a few in order to find the right one for you.  You may look at the price tag on the dream and put off going for it, or you may decide, no, this is it.  So, you buy the car – buy into the dream.  When you sit in the car for the first time your dream feels fully realized, but if you don’t have gas – the energy to get the dream going, you still are going nowhere.  Then you need to actually start the car. Oh, and put it in gear and apply the accelerator…You get it – we need to do the steps to get our dream moving forward.  But if you don’t choose a destination and then Google map it, you may take lots of wrong turns or end up at a totally different place than where you wanted to be; especially if you listen to the back seat drivers telling you how to drive and where to turn.  So pick a destination; find that dream, be clear about where you want to be, and then put your dream in gear and Google map it.

Busy, Busy, Busy…What’s on Your Calendar?

Holy smokes!  Sometimes life is SO busy we forget what is important, because, I mean, who has the time to even think about that!??  We just keep packing our calendars more and more full of stuff.  Have you ever stopped to actually look at your calendar to see what’s on it?  Or maybe think through your day to what you are really doing?  Besides maybe having a day job, there may be a meeting for work after hours, our child’s sports game, the gym, cooking, cleaning, driving car pool, commuting, hobbies we try to fit in, dating or a date night with our loved one (oh, yeah, did you forget to add that one in?)…way too many things.

So, are you enjoying your life? Or are you SO busy “doing” that you forget to “be”.  The next time you are running for your car…STOP…just dead in your tracks and look around before you go in the garage.  Look at that tree, the sky, the child playing outside…anything you can find that will make you take a deep breath and be grateful.

And then, take a look at that calendar.  How many things REALLY need to be there?  Can you cut a few things out and say NO even if you have to delegate them, and then say YES to what you really want to do?  Play a game – figure out what brings you joy and then find some time to do it.  If you can take a few minutes a day, or an hour once a week.  Be kind to yourself, because stress and overwhelm, is our gift to ourselves by letting circumstances rule us.  Take back your power, your time and your life.  Say YES to you and find your joy again…or maybe even for the first time!