If you had the choice, would you hang around you? Are you fun to be around, make people laugh or have a way about you that makes everyone like you? Maybe you listen from your heart so that anyone who talks to you really feels like you hear them. Being charming means being enchanting, endearing and delightful. If you aren’t that person, do you wish you were?
So many people we know rush around and don’t take the time to enjoy life. They are so caught up in their busy world that nothing seems to make a dent in their rushing lifestyle. No time for fun without purpose, playing for the heck of it or really being there for a friend or loved one. And others may seem to be angry constantly with that giant chip on their shoulder, complaining and blaming others for what their life looks like. The opposite of charming is repulsive and repellent. Hmmm, not very attractive sounding is it?
If you know that person, is that who you want to hang out with? You may give them a wide berth or at the very most, tolerate them if they are in your important circule.
Or if you are that person, is that who you want to be? What if you took a good hard look at how you come off to others? You don’t have to depend on others for validation on your self-worth, but what others think can be a reflection of what you are putting out in the world.
You have the choice. Be the loving spirit you truly are, or let the world pile up on top of you, making your life, and usually many of those around you, pretty miserable. What if you tried leading with a heart filled with love and peace, instead of pain, hurt or anger? What if you raised your vibration for YOU so that you feel better? You do have that choice…it may seem difficult at first, but ask yourself how do you want to be in this lifetime? Someone even you don’t want to be around, or do you want to be charming?
Have you noticed your life is like a jigsaw puzzle? You won’t necessarily see it when you are in the middle of living your life, but as you take a step back it’s easy to see when one piece shows up, and then another piece, and before you know it the puzzle starts coming together. Sometimes a particular person will answer a question and feel like a piece of the puzzle is there when you meet them or they say something that shifts your focus or your belief structure. Sometimes one relationship or job experience you think of as “bad” is a stepping stone to something better. Many times I’ve heard people with Cancer say they are glad they went through it because their life on the other side is so much better.
I’ve put together jigsaw puzzles for years. Each piece fits in a specific part of the puzzle. But sometimes the pieces seem to fit where they don’t really belong and the whole picture just doesn’t come out right. Sometimes we just need to rethink the pieces and how they fit together.
Please don’t think of anything in your life as unforgivable or something you wish had never happened. It is all just part of the puzzle…part of the plan. Without the whole of it, the puzzle won’t be a complete picture. You need every piece to make your life what you want it to be. The harder lessons make way for being grateful when things are working.
Remember as you put the pieces of the puzzle of your life together, you are in charge of the color and the shape of the pieces. You decide on the picture. Do you want a life that is colorful and exciting or calm and peaceful? You have the power to make the puzzle of your life anything you want. Use that power wisely.
What would we do without imagination? Without it, we wouldn’t have space travel, computers, tasty recipes, indoor plumbing, or any fiction books, and children wouldn’t be read to sleep with fairy tales or Dr. Seuss. How boring would life be? And how difficult if all those things that have been invented hadn’t been thought of? We would still be living like cavemen hunting for our food and surviving as best we could.
But we are lucky. All humans have imaginations. We have created and invented things since we first became a species making our lives more comfortable and allowing us to live way beyond the survival stage.
What are you doing with your imagination? It doesn’t mean you have to write the next novel on the bestseller list, but maybe you make someone feel special with little love notes, or create a special dinner, or even come up with a great idea on the job that saves people time or money. It doesn’t have to be earthshaking, but any ideas and actions that happen because of your imagination, can make your life and those you love and know a happier, more fulfilling place.
If you don’t think you have much of an imagination, you can expand your ability just by learning new things, reading more, and finding an art or a craft of some sort to be more creative. Any of these can stretch your mind more and work that imagination muscle. As you practice using your imagination, new possibilities will make your life take on a brighter quality and you’ll have more fun.
Do you ever feel like you are walking around in the dark? Either you don’t know something you should or someone says something that throws you for a loop; and maybe you just feel depressed, angry or feel hurt. What do you do? How do you find your way?
Do you hide out, complain to someone and spread the darkness, or maybe distract yourself so you forget how bad you feel? If it seems like you are in the dark, sometimes all you may need is a tiny light to help you. And sometimes you get lucky and the light is bright and shining.
I’ve tried a number of ways to move out of the darkness and some work better than others for me. And some work differently depending on the situation. So if you feel dark, maybe one of these ideas will help you.
Connecting to source to get clarity if possible – may mean prayer or meditation.
Be with someone that always makes you feel better. Their vibration may uplift you even without them trying. Ever been around someone who is belly laughing? Hard not to join in.
Play, even if you don’t feel like it. Find something that brings you joy and lightens your spirit. Play with your dog, your baby, other children, play tag; heck, play with Legos if you want!
If you have been in the dark for a bit, try a place that brings you light. Maybe you love Disneyland and need to spend a couple of days there, or nature in the form of a beach or the nearest mountain may be your thing. Find a place and hang out for at least a couple of hours. Even your own garden could bring you peace.
Concentrate on the positive. Be grateful for all you have and who you are.
Honestly, all of these ideas can work, but some may work better for you individually than others. The next time you feel down and need a little light to cheer you, see if any of these ideas help brighten your day and make your life just a little lighter.
Sometimes we need to step away from the hubbub of the world and find our center. Whether we meditate, find somewhere in nature to go or play with our children or pets, they all can help de-stress our lives. We can also use our imagination to refresh and recharge.
So let’s pretend that you can step out of your back door into an enchanted garden. What would your fantasy garden look like? A more formal English rose garden, a rock garden, a Japanese Zen garden, a wild flower garden, or maybe even a vegetable garden? Or perhaps a labyrinth where you could wander with a beautiful fountain in the middle?
Think through what this garden would look like. Perhaps a bed of daffodils, tulips or trailing vines of wisteria or jasmine. Is there a gazebo or a trellis arch you can walk through? A deck or a covering of some sort? Is there seating and a fire pit or a waterfall or even a pool? A hammock? You get to decide. Your imagination can take you quite far if you let it.
Once you have your enchanted garden in your mind’s eye, visit it often. Visualize walking through it when you are having a tough day. When life gets to be too much, just close your eyes for a minute and take a breath and see the beauty all around you that you’ve created. After a few breaths the peace will slide into you and the day will feel much less stressful. And if you visit it enough, the less time it will take for you to find the peace.
You may even want to start creating such a garden in your own backyard. Then you can share your enchanted garden and help bring peace to those you love as well.
When you come home at the end of your day what do you feel? Do you find your home a peaceful haven of warmth and love? Or maybe a place to fight and have disharmony? Or perhaps it is just a place with no particular feeling to it. If most people had their way, their home would be a safe haven, filled with love, joy and laughter; someplace to recharge, refresh and be restored.
So how is your home? If you find it lacking, are you willing and able to make changes? Maybe all you need is a little paint, nice music, or some plants. And maybe you might feel the need to move because the area or people don’t feel save and definitely don’t fall into the peaceful zone. What are you willing to do?
Just like your home, when you connect to source through prayer, meditation or just staying more in the moment, you will have more peace, more quiet joy and feel recharged. Connecting to your source truly feels like coming home. The more you do it, the more peaceful, the less stressed and the more focused you can be. You will start believing in yourself more; start working towards goals you didn’t even believe possible and start attracting the sort of people to you that will help you shift your life into what might seem totally miraculous.
So, when you come home, where do you want to be and how do you want to feel? Whether it is to a brick and mortar location, a tent or to a higher source, you have the ability to take action and change what doesn’t work for you. It may take a little effort, a little time, and maybe even a little elbow grease, but you are worth it. Coming home should be a joy, no matter how you slice it.
I have a secret. And it’s rather embarrassing. I always had to be right. Maybe it wasn’t a secret to the people that knew me, but I certainly didn’t realize it. I always got defensive and had excuses when people came after me because I really felt if they only understood my reasons, they would know I was right in my outlook, my reactions or my attitudes. And I didn’t know that needing to be right was really a symptom of self-confidence needing a boost. Does any of this sound familiar to you?
I didn’t realize I had this problem until I took an integrity workshop and we looked at all sorts of different scenarios. Needing to be right and needing to be in control were the two things they looked at. Guess which one cropped up the most for me? Out of the two, I never would have guessed it.
When you are faced with a circumstance where you have to choose forcing your way on someone because you’re “right” vs. coming to a consensus between or among people, what do you choose? When someone asks you a question do you bristle, maybe take it personally and definitely get defensive or make an excuse? I ask this with love, because I’ve done both. And while I’m not overly pleased with the path I walked, I am very pleased that I became aware of it and realized that needing to be right, was basically a lack of self confidence on my part. It meant, I needed everyone else to agree with me so I felt validated. Ouch.
So what did I do and what can you do? You don’t necessarily have to focus on “I don’t have to be right all the time”. Working on directly raising your self-confidence level will help greatly, but it can take time and money if you work with a therapist. Sometimes you can do it differently by trying one thing which has a byproduct of raising your self-confidence and letting go of having to be right. For example, if you raise your vibration by having more peace, more love, more hope or more gratitude in your life, the lower vibration of worry you aren’t good enough or needing validation may just fall away.
The pressure of having to be right all the time is exhausting. Isn’t it worth letting it go if you can choose to live a life filled with more gratitude, hope, love and peace?
Do you live your life rushing from one thing to another? Going from pillar to post without much thought for enjoying your life or stopping to smell the roses? Do me a favor. Think about a day in your life, or even an hour or two in one day. What does your schedule look like? How much do you try to get done and how many people do you cater to in your life…your boss, your children, your spouse…Pause just for a second and give it some thought.
If you’re like me, you just keep going and going, and I actually nicknamed myself the Energizer Bunny, because my energy seems to stay up most of the time. My friends will tell you I get around 28 hours of stuff done in 24. But, at some point you have to take a breath, take a beat or minute out of your day and ask yourself – what’s my hurry? Where am I going so fast and am I truly enjoying my life this way? Do I even enjoy my victories, or do I run off to the next thing? Do I have any peace or any moments for myself to relax without doing something?
So how do you stop the rush? First, you have to decide, am I worth the effort? Do I want to truly enjoy this life and my time on this planet? Even if you are working your life purpose and feel on track, we still as human beings, need to find some time to do something just for enjoyment’s sake, or something that brings you those moments of peace. You may have to set an alarm, literally, to make yourself stop the hurry and take those moments. Whether the moments for you include meditation, gardening, walking in nature, reading or whatever strikes your fancy, it should be something that brings you at least a quiet sort of joy and a sense of peace. For me, sitting on my balcony in the afternoon sun with my trees always makes me peaceful, and if I bring a good book out there, all the better.
Stopping the hurry and rushing from one thing to another every once in a while will help you recharge, it will make you stay more in the NOW even during the time you are rushing around when you take at least a few minutes here and there to break out of the “schedule” you’ve put yourself on. The peace and the mindfulness that can come from that are worth it. YOU are worth it!
With all that’s going on in the world do you find yourself freaking out from time to time? Or maybe you’re living on the edge all the time, worrying about what has yet to happen to you. If you are stressed out, scared of what’s happening out there, and what might happen, you are in the company of a lot of people right now. At the current time fear is definitely magnified because there are at least a half dozen things to be worried or scared about with all that’s going on. So don’t feel like you are all alone.
How worried and fearful are you on a scale of 1 to 10? Do you usually hold it together or do you regularly have to fight off the fear and worry? And most importantly what will work for you to help ease some of the fear you might be feeling; to get off of the merry-go-round so to speak?
If watching the news triggers you, try only listening to the headlines so you know the most important things going on, or take a break altogether for a week or two. If something major happens, you will definitely hear it from someone.
And then of course there is social media. We can truly get sucked in. It’s like an addiction and once we get in there it may be hard to stop scrolling. What’s a person to do? Again, you may need to take a break; tell your friends to text you instead and turn it off; even deleting it from your phone if need be for a bit.
According to scientists and metaphysics alike, fear has a lower vibration than peace, love or joy. So spending some time lifting your spirits creates a wonderful byproduct of letting your fear just melt away. Perhaps that means spending some time in meditation, yoga, prayer, playing with a puppy, or counting your blessings and staying in gratitude. Find what works best for you and even mix it up so you don’t get bored. Fear stresses the mind, the body, and the emotions, so try to get out of that cycle of fear. No time like the present!
Are you waiting for your dreams to come true; to enjoy life more or find more happiness. Maybe you’re waiting for someone to die, for a promotion that hasn’t happened for years or for more money to show up. Why? Life is NOT a dress rehearsal where we practice until the curtain goes up in a couple of days when it’s for “real”.
A dress rehearsal, as you may know, is where we, as actors, get to practice with our sets, costumes, lights, props and other actors before a real audience shows up. We hope we have our lines right by then, that no one misses their cues, musicians come in on time, the props we are practicing with become the ones we actually will use on stage, and the gun will be loaded with blanks so we get used to the sound. We also hope no set pieces fall over or on us, we don’t end up in the dark at the wrong time because someone got the cue wrong, and sometimes, we even get to start over if something goes wrong. Does this sound like real life?
If we keep acting like our “real” life is a dress rehearsal, we are muddling through figuring that this life doesn’t “count”. That we get to do it again. And while it may be true that there are past lives and even future lives for us to try again, I always think of this as the one and only one just so I try to find more joy, more love, and behave with more grace and gratitude so I can really enjoy this life that I currently have. Because after all, whatever we believe, who knows truly if there IS more?
What would happen in your life if you lived as though every moment counted and could be your last? Wouldn’t you find ways to make things matter more, make more of a difference or somehow put your stamp on something so you leave a legacy? Just remember, life is NOT a dress rehearsal!