Do You See the Gifts Along the Way?

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Are you so busy rushing through your life you don’t see the gifts along the way? Those little things that can really make your life worth living?  Maybe someone compliments you, your spouse makes you coffee in the morning, your child hugs you, or you find a five dollar bill in the pocket of an unused jacket.  Sometimes the little things can be overlooked, but they can really light up our lives and make them more fun.

If we stay open and pay attention, we’ll notice those little things. We’ll appreciate them and the person that initiates them; we’ll feel loved and get all sorts of warm fuzzy feelings. BUT, we need to slow down a bit before any of this can happen. A car going at 80 mph can’t see the bunny hopping towards the street or the small sign that signals a fresh fruit stand, so we don’t even know what we’re missing. If we can find a way to take life just a little slower, it will be a little less stressful and we won’t miss some of those amazing things life has to offer.

So the next time something happens that feels like a gift, screech those tires and slow down your life long enough to enjoy that bunny or the fresh fruit from the stand. Smell those roses. You will be happier, more at peace and feel more loved. I guarantee that you and everyone in your life will be glad you did.

Where’s My Fairy Godmother?

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When things go wrong do you ever think of one of those old fairy tales and ask yourself, “Where is my fairy godmother?”  I mean, why can’t someone just show up out of the blue and help make my wishes and dreams come true? 

Just like the man who asked God to help him and then kept ignoring the help from another human when it was offered, sometimes when we ask for help or guidance it comes in a form we don’t expect and don’t always notice.  What if you asked for guidance on a matter and instead of getting a thunderbolt out of the blue or an angel appearing, you heard something pop out at you from a commercial on TV?  Or maybe your boss or someone else says something off hand that is the total answer to your prayer or wish?

I remember seeing a movie in a theatre I found kind of stupid and really wished I could have walked out of, but towards the end one line from one of the characters made me cry because I realized that was the answer I had asked for.

Or maybe someone will say something out of the blue and it will answer your questions.  I remember trying to decide where to move when I was younger.  I and my best friend were trying to decide between Colorado, Washington and Texas after discarding the other 47 States as options.  We decided to hold off and come back a week later.  When we spoke again we had both made up our minds.  Thank goodness it was the same State!  We chose Colorado because both of us had 3 separate confirmations.  So 6 times in the course of the week, we had someone we knew or in some cases strangers, speak to us about Colorado and what a great state it was.  We hadn’t told any of these people of our intended move or of the circumstances regarding our decisions.  Totally out of blue.

So the next time you need an answer and wonder why you aren’t either having someone fix the problem for you or give you the answer you prayed or asked for…maybe you’re wrong.  Maybe you have gotten the answer you wanted, but you just weren’t paying attention or realizing that the source can be from anywhere.  So pray if you like and ask for guidance if you want, but pay attention.  Your answer truly can come from any and every direction.

How Do You Know When Your Life is On Track?

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Do you ever wonder if your life is on track? If you are where you’re supposed to be, doing what you’re supposed to be doing?  You aren’t alone. So many of my clients say this.

Even if you’re one of the lucky ones and feel like you’re living your purpose, when something goes “wrong”, you may start questioning yourself. Did I go right when I should have turned left? Did I say yes when I should have said no? Maybe I didn’t take that opportunity I was given…sound familiar?

Or if you’re someone whose life pretty much seems like it’s totally off track, this could be a great thing!  If you feel the wake-up call, you can do something about it! Awareness really is the first and biggest step, and actually sometimes is the only thing you have to be aware of to change your life.

Whether you feel on track or off, when things start feeling wrong or just off somehow, you may have taken a bit of a detour on your life path. Detours aren’t necessarily bad things. My dad used to call detours the “scenic route”.  All roads lead to where you want to go, if you know what you want. Some may take a little longer and have some detours along the way; but the scenic route can sometimes actually be more enjoyable.  You don’t always have to travel on a straight line to get where you feel you need to be.  If you can find a way to enjoy your journey, you are already on your path. Then you don’t have to worry if you are on track.

Ow!!

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When life slams into you and you want to yell OW! What do you do after that? Do you continue to yell OW, OW, OW, OW, OW!!!!!!!!! For 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days or even 5 years? Do you go over and over the hurt until it turns into resentment? Maybe even living in the past so that your present is pushed aside? If the pain and hurt is from a love relationship, doe it infect or impact the next one, and the one after that?

Sometimes as human beings we need some time to keep yelling OW! I’m hurt; I’m in pain! We need to know it’s okay to feel that way. But at some point, we need to take that step forward and release that past hurt. Just like falling and skinning your knee, the scab has to come, usually followed by the itching and the healing.  If you keep picking at the hurt, it will never heal. If you won’t let go of the past through forgiving others or yourself, or both, you may never get through or over the problem. That skinned knee will never heal.

So question for you.  Do you want to keep reliving that painful time?  If you do, that’s your choice. But when you’re ready to stop yelling OW and pointing the finger at whatever or whomever you feel hurt you, then and only then will you be able to move forward, find your path again and take your power back.

Having a Worry-Free Zone

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How many times do you try to sleep and stay awake worrying about something? What do you worry about? Money is usually a pretty big issue; maybe a deadline fast approaching at school or work; you may worry about your children; and of course our love life is a zone unto itself.  Wouldn’t you like to have a worry free-zone; where life is peaceful and nothing makes you anxious?

Worry is just a fear of something that may happen in the future differently than how you want it to go.  So first, let me ask you, on a scale of 1 to 10, or if you need a 1 to 100 scale, how much do you worry? If it’s more than a quarter of the time, why do you feel you worry so much? Do you feel overwhelmed, alone, unprepared or maybe just undeserving of something you need to do or want in your life? Of the future you hope to have? Knowing why you worry so much can be a huge help in releasing what the initial cause is, or at least working on it to whittle down the worry.

Second question: using the same scale again, how big are the issues you actually worry about? If you have a lot of big things happening in your life, it’s really easy to focus on the negative and the bad things that might happen.  And if you realize you are worrying about the smaller issues in a way that’s totally out of proportion to the perceived problems, that can be an epiphany that can change your entire outlook.

To have a worry-free zone, you have to be willing to let the future take care of itself, at least for a few minutes. While I’m a big proponent of meditation, not everyone chooses to do it, and sometimes the release of the worry needs to be immediate and there is no time to get into a deep meditation. Maybe you choose a song to hum or sing under your breath that makes you happy or releases worry. Maybe you have a place you go in your mind even for a split second that helps you, or even just closing your eyes and taking three deep calming and peaceful breaths may do it.  You can even declare the worry-free zone to be part of the house or yard. Make it for the whole family if you like – you come into this particular room or area of the yard and no worries are allowed; no complaining or blaming here.  By the time you or they get up to move out of the area, the worry may already have been released.

Worry is just the fear of something happening in the future you have no control over that would be unpleasant. You have the power over whether you worry or not.

Are You Charming?

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Kitty Charming

If you had the choice, would you hang around you? Are you fun to be around, make people laugh or have a way about you that makes everyone like you? Maybe you listen from your heart so that anyone who talks to you really feels like you hear them. Being charming means being enchanting, endearing and delightful. If you aren’t that person, do you wish you were?

So many people we know rush around and don’t take the time to enjoy life. They are so caught up in their busy world that nothing seems to make a dent in their rushing lifestyle. No time for fun without purpose, playing for the heck of it or really being there for a friend or loved one. And others may seem to be angry constantly with that giant chip on their shoulder, complaining and blaming others for what their life looks like. The opposite of charming is repulsive and repellent. Hmmm, not very attractive sounding is it?

If you know that person, is that who you want to hang out with?  You may give them a wide berth or at the very most, tolerate them if they are in your important circule.

Or if you are that person, is that who you want to be? What if you took a good hard look at how you come off to others? You don’t have to depend on others for validation on your self-worth, but what others think can be a reflection of what you are putting out in the world.

You have the choice. Be the loving spirit you truly are, or let the world pile up on top of you, making your life, and usually many of those around you, pretty miserable. What if you tried leading with a heart filled with love and peace, instead of pain, hurt or anger? What if you raised your vibration for YOU so that you feel better? You do have that choice…it may seem difficult at first, but ask yourself how do you want to be in this lifetime? Someone even you don’t want to be around, or do you want to be charming?

Is Your Life a Puzzle?

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Have you noticed your life is like a jigsaw puzzle? You won’t necessarily see it when you are in the middle of living your life, but as you take a step back it’s easy to see when one piece shows up, and then another piece, and before you know it the puzzle starts coming together. Sometimes a particular person will answer a question and feel like a piece of the puzzle is there when you meet them or they say something that shifts your focus or your belief structure. Sometimes one relationship or job experience you think of as “bad” is a stepping stone to something better. Many times I’ve heard people with Cancer say they are glad they went through it because their life on the other side is so much better.

I’ve put together jigsaw puzzles for years. Each piece fits in a specific part of the puzzle. But sometimes the pieces seem to fit where they don’t really belong and the whole picture just doesn’t come out right. Sometimes we just need to rethink the pieces and how they fit together.

Please don’t think of anything in your life as unforgivable or something you wish had never happened.  It is all just part of the puzzle…part of the plan.  Without the whole of it, the puzzle won’t be a complete picture.  You need every piece to make your life what you want it to be.  The harder lessons make way for being grateful when things are working.

Remember as you put the pieces of the puzzle of your life together, you are in charge of the color and the shape of the pieces. You decide on the picture. Do you want a life that is colorful and exciting or calm and peaceful? You have the power to make the puzzle of your life anything you want. Use that power wisely.

Imagination’s Key

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What would we do without imagination?  Without it, we wouldn’t have space travel, computers, tasty recipes, indoor plumbing, or any fiction books, and children wouldn’t be read to sleep with fairy tales or Dr. Seuss.  How boring would life be?  And how difficult if all those things that have been invented hadn’t been thought of?  We would still be living like cavemen hunting for our food and surviving as best we could.

But we are lucky.  All humans have imaginations.  We have created and invented things since we first became a species making our lives more comfortable and allowing us to live way beyond the survival stage.

What are you doing with your imagination?  It doesn’t mean you have to write the next novel on the bestseller list, but maybe you make someone feel special with little love notes, or create a special dinner, or even come up with a great idea on the job that saves people time or money.  It doesn’t have to be earthshaking, but any ideas and actions that happen because of your imagination, can make your life and those you love and know a happier, more fulfilling place.

If you don’t think you have much of an imagination, you can expand your ability just by learning new things, reading more, and finding an art or a craft of some sort to be more creative. Any of these can stretch your mind more and work that imagination muscle.  As you practice using your imagination, new possibilities will make your life take on a brighter quality and you’ll have more fun.

Light Your Way

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Do you ever feel like you are walking around in the dark? Either you don’t know something you should or someone says something that throws you for a loop; and maybe you just feel depressed, angry or feel hurt. What do you do? How do you find your way?

Do you hide out, complain to someone and spread the darkness, or maybe distract yourself so you forget how bad you feel?  If it seems like you are in the dark, sometimes all you may need is a tiny light to help you. And sometimes you get lucky and the light is bright and shining.

I’ve tried a number of ways to move out of the darkness and some work better than others for me.  And some work differently depending on the situation.  So if you feel dark, maybe one of these ideas will help you.

  1. Connecting to source to get clarity if possible – may mean prayer or meditation.
  2. Be with someone that always makes you feel better. Their vibration may uplift you even without them trying. Ever been around someone who is belly laughing? Hard not to join in.
  3. Play, even if you don’t feel like it. Find something that brings you joy and lightens your spirit. Play with your dog, your baby, other children, play tag; heck, play with Legos if you want!
  4. If you have been in the dark for a bit, try a place that brings you light. Maybe you love Disneyland and need to spend a couple of days there, or nature in the form of a beach or the nearest mountain may be your thing. Find a place and hang out for at least a couple of hours. Even your own garden could bring you peace.
  5. Concentrate on the positive. Be grateful for all you have and who you are.

Honestly, all of these ideas can work, but some may work better for you individually than others. The next time you feel down and need a little light to cheer you, see if any of these ideas help brighten your day and make your life just a little lighter.

Your Enchanted Garden

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Sometimes we need to step away from the hubbub of the world and find our center. Whether we meditate, find somewhere in nature to go or play with our children or pets, they all can help de-stress our lives.  We can also use our imagination to refresh and recharge.

So let’s pretend that you can step out of your back door into an enchanted garden. What would your fantasy garden look like?  A more formal English rose garden, a rock garden, a Japanese Zen garden, a wild flower garden, or maybe even a vegetable garden? Or perhaps a labyrinth where you could wander with a beautiful fountain in the middle?

Think through what this garden would look like.  Perhaps a bed of daffodils, tulips or trailing vines of wisteria or jasmine. Is there a gazebo or a trellis arch you can walk through? A deck or a covering of some sort?  Is there seating and a fire pit or a waterfall or even a pool?  A hammock? You get to decide. Your imagination can take you quite far if you let it.

Once you have your enchanted garden in your mind’s eye, visit it often. Visualize walking through it when you are having a tough day.  When life gets to be too much, just close your eyes for a minute and take a breath and see the beauty all around you that you’ve created.  After a few breaths the peace will slide into you and the day will feel much less stressful. And if you visit it enough, the less time it will take for you to find the peace.

You may even want to start creating such a garden in your own backyard. Then you can share your enchanted garden and help bring peace to those you love as well.