Coming Home

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When you come home at the end of your day what do you feel?  Do you find your home a peaceful haven of warmth and love?  Or maybe a place to fight and have disharmony?  Or perhaps it is just a place with no particular feeling to it. If most people had their way, their home would be a safe haven, filled with love, joy and laughter; someplace to recharge, refresh and be restored.

So how is your home?  If you find it lacking, are you willing and able to make changes? Maybe all you need is a little paint, nice music, or some plants. And maybe you might feel the need to move because the area or people don’t feel save and definitely don’t fall into the peaceful zone. What are you willing to do?

Just like your home, when you connect to source through prayer, meditation or just staying more in the moment, you will have more peace, more quiet joy and feel recharged. Connecting to your source truly feels like coming home. The more you do it, the more peaceful, the less stressed and the more focused you can be. You will start believing in yourself more; start working towards goals you didn’t even believe possible and start attracting the sort of people to you that will help you shift your life into what might seem totally miraculous.

So, when you come home, where do you want to be and how do you want to feel? Whether it is to a brick and mortar location, a tent or to a higher source, you have the ability to take action and change what doesn’t work for you.  It may take a little effort, a little time, and maybe even a little elbow grease, but you are worth it.  Coming home should be a joy, no matter how you slice it.

Being Right

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I have a secret. And it’s rather embarrassing. I always had to be right. Maybe it wasn’t a secret to the people that knew me, but I certainly didn’t realize it. I always got defensive and had excuses when people came after me because I really felt if they only understood my reasons, they would know I was right in my outlook, my reactions or my attitudes. And I didn’t know that needing to be right was really a symptom of self-confidence needing a boost.  Does any of this sound familiar to you?

I didn’t realize I had this problem until I took an integrity workshop and we looked at all sorts of different scenarios. Needing to be right and needing to be in control were the two things they looked at. Guess which one cropped up the most for me?  Out of the two, I never would have guessed it.

When you are faced with a circumstance where you have to choose forcing your way on someone because you’re “right” vs. coming to a consensus between or among people, what do you choose? When someone asks you a question do you bristle, maybe take it personally and definitely get defensive or make an excuse? I ask this with love, because I’ve done both. And while I’m not overly pleased with the path I walked, I am very pleased that I became aware of it and realized that needing to be right, was basically a lack of self confidence on my part. It meant, I needed everyone else to agree with me so I felt validated. Ouch.

So what did I do and what can you do? You don’t necessarily have to focus on “I don’t have to be right all the time”. Working on directly raising your self-confidence level will help greatly, but it can take time and money if you work with a therapist. Sometimes you can do it differently by trying one thing which has a byproduct of raising your self-confidence and letting go of having to be right. For example, if you raise your vibration by having more peace, more love, more hope or more gratitude in your life, the lower vibration of worry you aren’t good enough or needing validation may just fall away.

The pressure of having to be right all the time is exhausting. Isn’t it worth letting it go if you can choose to live a life filled with more gratitude, hope, love and peace?

What’s the Hurry?

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Do you live your life rushing from one thing to another?  Going from pillar to post without much thought for enjoying your life or stopping to smell the roses?  Do me a favor.  Think about a day in your life, or even an hour or two in one day. What does your schedule look like?  How much do you try to get done and how many people do you cater to in your life…your boss, your children, your spouse…Pause just for a second and give it some thought.

If you’re like me, you just keep going and going, and I actually nicknamed myself the Energizer Bunny, because my energy seems to stay up most of the time.  My friends will tell you I get around 28 hours of stuff done in 24.  But, at some point you have to take a breath, take a beat or minute out of your day and ask yourself – what’s my hurry?  Where am I going so fast and am I truly enjoying my life this way? Do I even enjoy my victories, or do I run off to the next thing? Do I have any peace or any moments for myself to relax without doing something?

So how do you stop the rush?  First, you have to decide, am I worth the effort?  Do I want to truly enjoy this life and my time on this planet? Even if you are working your life purpose and feel on track, we still as human beings, need to find some time to do something just for enjoyment’s sake, or something that brings you those moments of peace. You may have to set an alarm, literally, to make yourself stop the hurry and take those moments. Whether the moments for you include meditation, gardening, walking in nature, reading or whatever strikes your fancy, it should be something that brings you at least a quiet sort of joy and a sense of peace.  For me, sitting on my balcony in the afternoon sun with my trees always makes me peaceful, and if I bring a good book out there, all the better.

Stopping the hurry and rushing from one thing to another every once in a while will help you recharge, it will make you stay more in the NOW even during the time you are rushing around when you take at least a few minutes here and there to break out of the “schedule” you’ve put yourself on.  The peace and the mindfulness that can come from that are worth it.  YOU are worth it!

Are You Living in Fear?

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With all that’s going on in the world do you find yourself freaking out from time to time? Or maybe you’re living on the edge all the time, worrying about what has yet to happen to you. If you are stressed out, scared of what’s happening out there, and what might happen, you are in the company of a lot of people right now.  At the current time fear is definitely magnified because there are at least a half dozen things to be worried or scared about with all that’s going on. So don’t feel like you are all alone.

How worried and fearful are you on a scale of 1 to 10? Do you usually hold it together or do you regularly have to fight off the fear and worry? And most importantly what will work for you to help ease some of the fear you might be feeling; to get off of the merry-go-round so to speak?

If watching the news triggers you, try only listening to the headlines so you know the most important things going on, or take a break altogether for a week or two.  If something major happens, you will definitely hear it from someone.

And then of course there is social media. We can truly get sucked in. It’s like an addiction and once we get in there it may be hard to stop scrolling.  What’s a person to do? Again, you may need to take a break; tell your friends to text you instead and turn it off; even deleting it from your phone if need be for a bit.

According to scientists and metaphysics alike, fear has a lower vibration than peace, love or joy. So spending some time lifting your spirits creates a wonderful byproduct of letting your fear just melt away. Perhaps that means spending some time in meditation, yoga, prayer, playing with a puppy, or counting your blessings and staying in gratitude. Find what works best for you and even mix it up so you don’t get bored. Fear stresses the mind, the body, and the emotions, so try to get out of that cycle of fear. No time like the present!

Life is NOT a Dress Rehearsal!!

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Are you waiting for your dreams to come true; to enjoy life more or find more happiness.  Maybe you’re waiting for someone to die, for a promotion that hasn’t happened for years or for more money to show up. Why? Life is NOT a dress rehearsal where we practice until the curtain goes up in a couple of days when it’s for “real”.

A dress rehearsal, as you may know, is where we, as actors, get to practice with our sets, costumes, lights, props and other actors before a real audience shows up.  We hope we have our lines right by then, that no one misses their cues, musicians come in on time, the props we are practicing with become the ones we actually will use on stage, and the gun will be loaded with blanks so we get used to the sound.  We also hope no set pieces fall over or on us, we don’t end up in the dark at the wrong time because someone got the cue wrong, and sometimes, we even get to start over if something goes wrong.  Does this sound like real life?

If we keep acting like our “real” life is a dress rehearsal, we are muddling through figuring that this life doesn’t “count”. That we get to do it again. And while it may be true that there are past lives and even future lives for us to try again, I always think of this as the one and only one just so I try to find more joy, more love, and behave with more grace and gratitude so I can really enjoy this life that I currently have.  Because after all, whatever we believe, who knows truly if there IS more?

What would happen in your life if you lived as though every moment counted and could be your last? Wouldn’t you find ways to make things matter more, make more of a difference or somehow put your stamp on something so you leave a legacy?  Just remember, life is NOT a dress rehearsal!

Become the Change

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If you want change in your life, how do you jump to the future where the change is working instead of scary?  We can get some clues from Mahatma Ghandi’s quote, “We must become the change we want to see.”

I think he meant we have to embody the change to become it.  My way of working with my clients is by asking them, “Who do you have to be right now in order to have this change work for you?”; to have your dream or vision come true…?  Sometimes we can’t tell who we have to be; what characteristics we need to focus on, and sometimes it’s a little more obvious.  But if you can’t see it, try focusing on who you will become if the outcome is considered by you to be “successful”.  Then you can backtrack to current day and “pretend” to be that person.

For example, if you say you’ll be more successful, well, yes, but what is deeper than that?  Will you have more self-confidence, more love for yourself, more willingness to take the next challenge, more optimism…who will you become if the change works?  And then choose to act that way now even if you have to pretend your way into convincing yourself.

I remember a minister I had when I was quite young who asked how we were doing every Sunday.  We would all answer various things, but basically we said we were good, or fantastic, or wonderful…and she said Yes!  And if you don’t really feel that way, fake it until you make it, because you WILL feel that way soon.  I still remember that and it really DOES work!

Acting that way now will help you bridge the gap of what you want, to having what you want; and believe it or not, the outcome will probably happen faster and with less roadblocks if you try this.  So remember, if you want to have a positive outcome to whatever change you’re facing, “We must become the change we want to see.”

What Does True Freedom Mean to You?

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When was the last time you stopped to think about freedom and what it means to you?  I almost never do until something comes up that makes me realize how truly free I am.

Do you feel free?  What makes you feel that way?  Do you feel free because of the country you live in?  The kind of job you have?  The people that surround you or don’t surround you?

The definition of free is “not under the control or in the power of another; able to act or be done as one wishes”.  Does that shift your answer?

The Covid19 lockdown was a big lesson for me in freedom.  It actually made me feel free, even with all that was going on in many ways.  I felt free to get up when I wanted and go to bed when I wanted; to eat when I wanted and do what I wanted.  Kind of like what I think being retired will feel like even though I worked remotely for a few hours every day.  Granted I lost my freedom because I couldn’t leave the house much and I couldn’t go to work.  But I do like my own company and my home is a wonderful sanctuary to be “stuck” in.  Plus, an added bonus was that I didn’t feel guilty I wasn’t getting up at 6 am every day and heading off into horrible traffic to work.  I felt incredibly lucky I wasn’t sick and grateful for all of those still working to help the rest of us.  How did you feel during that time?

Have you ever felt guilty because you felt free?  A couple of those types of instances might be because we feel free after a divorce or after a death if someone that has been difficult to deal with.  While we may not want to shout those times from the rooftops, it is a valid time to feel relief or a sense of freedom.

When it comes down to it, freedom is something every human being needs.  That sense that we can be and do whatever we want.  Some people never have that in their lives, and others feel free even when they are in prison.  Make your choice to feel freedom and cherish those moments!

Choosing Health

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How do you react when you start to have a sore throat, sneeze or cough? Do you freak out; start imagining the worst; or call the doctor immediately?  Maybe you just get a little concerned and start adding Vitamin C to your diet.

The worst thing we can do is start letting our mind spin with the worries of getting sick. The Law of Attraction is all about what you focus on, you will attract to you. Do you focus on the sickness or do you choose health?  Even thinking, how do I not get sick, is focusing on the sickness. How do I cure the sore throat, the nasal drip, etc., are the same focus.

Instead, ask yourself the question, what do I need to do to feel healthy? If you choose health, you will focus on sleeping a decent amount, stressing less, drinking more filtered and alkaline water, eating better for you, more movement…all those things that are logical. They can all be adjusted. You don’t have to choose to be a vegan if you normally eat everything in sight.  Even if you just adjust your habits a bit here and there, it can make a huge difference in your health.  So maybe an extra glass of filtered water a day, extra half hour of sleep, 10 minutes of movement instead of none, and not eating past 8 p.m. every day are the beginnings of changing your habits.  Don’t make so many changes you can’t stick to any of them.  Choose what works for you and then stick to it.  You can even do a little more bit by bit.

And if you feel that sore throat, the nasal drip, the headache, or whatever start to take hold, focus on being healthy.  Take that Vitamin C, the Zinc, or even my favorite for sore muscles and feeling poorly, a hot bubble bath with uncoated aspirin in it. I’m also one for doing meditation imagining the cells of my body having all the energy they need to be happy and healthy, and talking to each other clearly.

You don’t need to judge yourself for past choices or whip yourself if you start focusing on the illness. Just choose again. Choose health and wellness. Choose to love your body and your being by treating it as though it were a priceless gift. Because honestly, it is.

Letting Go of Regret

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When you look back over your life do you regret anything?  Sometimes we regret a choice we make for a while, but after some time passes, that 20/20 hindsight kicks in and we realize the decision we made really turned out okay; and other times, it never does kick in that way and we always wonder if we should have chosen that road untraveled.

Take a moment and look at that choice or decision you regret.  Perhaps you regret a choice someone else made that you feel you had no part in; perhaps a divorce that was thrust upon you or losing a job.  Do you hold that heavy place in your heart that makes you sorry it happened?  If you can be really honest with yourself, how does that impact your life now?  Are you sadder because of it? Do you feel held back, unlucky or like you missed out?

What if, instead of regretting that decision, you celebrate it?  What if you say, this is a great lesson!  Maybe the lesson is to not let the next person you love get away; to try harder in a situation; love deeper; be more open and vulnerable, or have clearer communication…  What if you learned that lesson?

Imagine if the next time you have a regret over something you learn that lesson right away?  And what if the time after that, you apply that lesson to your next relationship, the next job you have, or the next situation that is similar?  Can you imagine how much better your life would be if you let go of past regrets?  How less heavy your heart would be; how more optimistic you could be; and how much happier?  The choice is up to you.  Do you live with the regret, or let it go, learning from it and reaching for the joy in life you desire?

The Blame Game…Getting Off the Merry Go Round

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Blaming doesn’t get us very far.  Whether we blame ourselves and stay stuck in the cycle of I can’t or I’m not good enough, or we blame others, we can get stuck in a cycle and not be able to get off the merry go round.

It is easy to blame others for our choices.  If they hadn’t done or said that, I wouldn’t have done or said something, so it’s basically their fault.  It’s easy to react to someone or something without thinking, but it doesn’t mean what you say or what you do is someone else’s fault when you chose to act or say what you did.

Basically when we blame others, we give our power away to them.  They did it, so I feel this way.  My reality is due to something someone else did.  That means you may feel you can’t change your life.  And when we blame ourselves, we have the same problem.  We may not feel good enough, but we are letting others trigger those self-blaming attitudes.  So we are being buffeted by the world, by what happens, by what someone says or does. That means all we do is react to the world and we don’t feel we have any say in the matter.

Even when things don’t appear to be going well in a circumstance, we have the power to choose how we will react.  So if you get laid off…do you sulk, cry, get angry…well yeah, we may all do that…but for how long before you change your attitude, pick yourself up and start looking for another job?  Before you look at all the reasons why the job you got laid off from may not have been the best for you, or if you thought it was, think of all the ways a new job could be even better.

Blaming ourselves or others for what happens is a reaction that gets us nowhere, except maybe to be more aware of what we’re doing to ourselves.  So be aware of how you react when someone does or says something hurtful. Do you lash out in pain or anger?  Blame them for their feelings or how they approached you?  Or can you let that go quickly if you feel it and react with love and concern thereby turning the whole interaction upside down?  We have the choice.  Being aware of why we fall into the blame game can be incredibly helpful.  Step back from yourself for a moment and make the choice to learn why you react, and then step up your game.  Getting off the blame game merry go round will give you peace and that will ripple out into the rest of your life.