Do you put your children before you? Your spouse? Your parent who needs attention if they are older? A sister or brother, or even friend who has a problem? And if you have a boss, I’m pretty sure he/she rates a lot of time from you. In fact, does everyone else come first before you because maybe you were raised that “looking out for No. 1” first is selfish? This probably means that you are frazzled, stressed and generally getting to the point of frustration and maybe even burnout. Balance in your life is very one sided or maybe you are even to the point of saying – balance, what’s that?
STOP – take about 15 seconds right now. Close your eyes and do a countdown this way – 10 – breath, 9 – breath, 8 – breath, 7 – breath, 6 – breath, 5- breath, 4 – breath, 3 – breath, 2 – breath, 1 – breath. The breaths don’t have to take long, just don’t rush them. And then roll your neck a couple of times, open your eyes and continue reading – – – – – UH UN, can’t fool me. REALLY do it!!
So, how are you feeling? Your mind should be a bit quieter and your stress/tightness should be a bit less. You can probably see that when your children or spouse are balanced and happy, they are wayyyyyy more fun to be around, so why is it any different than you? Aren’t you more fun to be around when you aren’t running around like a chicken with its head cut off (as my dad used to say – and yes, he was a farmer in Minnesota and so understood the meaning of the phrase up front and personal…ewwwww).
Do everyone a favor. Start being a little selfish and be kinder to yourself. Figure out what floats your boat; what brings you to a calm state, to an inner joy. Find something you love to do and start small with 5 or 10 minutes a day and work up to 30 minutes or more if you dare. Take the dog for a walk or go on your own, take 5 minutes for meditation, garden, take a bubble bath, do yoga. If the family interrupts you at first just let them know gently that this is your time and you will get back to them in 10. Unless a finger is cut off or the dog has eaten the coach, they should be fine for 10! If you work up to longer, maybe even have a girl’s or boy’s night out once a month. As you become more at peace, you will be calmer, less stressed and more fun to be around. Don’t be a chicken – sometimes it’s okay to be selfish