How are you with confrontations? Some people run from them and may never tell someone what is bothering them until they blow up maybe years later and take the other person totally unaware. Or they may quit their jobs out of the blue which will shock their boss because they never knew how unhappy the person was. Does this sound like you or someone you know? Do you or they put off working something out and always complain or grumble about a specific person or situation?
Think of something you wish you could say to someone. How do you feel when you think about the approaching idea of talking to them? Do you run screaming into the night…hyperventilate or freeze up? Are you afraid the person will hate you, never speak to you again or fire you if it’s your boss?
First, take a moment and see what exactly is your worst-case scenario; especially if you avoid confrontation at all costs. After you do that, realize usually worst-case doesn’t usually happen. Next, take another moment and picture your best-case scenario. What do you truly want to achieve from the confrontation you feel possibly looming in front of you? It may calm your fears to realize that generally the result is between the best and worst cases.
When you know one is coming up, give this idea some thought…some of us have really good parking karma. We drive toward a parking lot and ask for a spot, and then let it go and we just get one. Sometimes someone pulls out right in front of us; a mini miracle. After a while we don’t even have to ask, it just becomes a habit. The same will work when we know a confrontation may be coming with another person.
If we can take a moment before the phone call or the meeting and visualize it going well; imagine it coming to a conclusion that is best for all involved. Then breathe into the moment and be grateful. Then let it go. We don’t have to know how or exactly what we are going to say, just be grateful and know…that parking spot will be there, reserved just for you, and that confrontation may just turn into a wonderful conversation where you learn something about each other, grow closer and have something even better than the best-case scenario result.