Are you going through a transition in your life? Some sort of change that feels really difficult to get through?
Many times we don’t ask for times of transition, they just happen: Our spouse asks for a divorce, our children move out for college, our partner breaks things off, there is a death in the family, or we are laid off from our job. Other times, we do plan the change but it doesn’t always make it much easier: we may be on the other side asking for the divorce, move to a new location or start a new job.
How are you handling it? So many emotions are out there from disbelief, to pain, to anger, to loneliness, to fear…and sometimes these can get all mixed together. These can be our hardest and most emotional times and biggest stressors. So, what do you do?
One answer is to find someone to talk to. This can be anyone from your mother, a friend, a minister, a bartender, a life coach or a therapist. Groups for what you are going through can be transformative because they enable you to share the pain and even have answers for each other.
Whoever it is, make sure they don’t have a set agenda on what they think you should do or be. Our mothers and friends can be the most amazing people, but in general they do tend to see you differently than someone who is a little more unbiased. If you feel pushed into a corner you don’t want to be in when you speak to someone or the group isn’t for you even though it seems like it should be, find someone or somewhere else.
And most importantly of all, honor your process. Talk, cry, scream into a pillow, do a lot of long walks or jogs in nature…whatever you need for your healing. We tend to grieve loss and what we perceive as failure, and that loss doesn’t have to be a death to be difficult.
Some people take longer than others to reach the other side, but do realize that if you have been taking a couple of years, you may appear stuck to your friends or relatives. If that happens, they may try to push you a bit to force you to heal faster. Try not to be too angry at them even if you don’t feel ready to move forward. Many times we just need a gentle shove to get our spirit back and take that leap to get our lives in better working order.