Do you play to win the game of life? Or do you play not to lose? Or maybe you sit back and let life flow around you not taking much of a part. Look at yourself. Do you always take that step forward fighting to make things happen, forming your life into something you want? Or maybe you make excuses and focus on how to avoid all the stuff you don’t want in your life? Or the third option of just avoiding life by not taking part, sitting at home and not going out…staying “safe”. Maybe you do a variety of these things, but what’s your go to style?
If you sit back and let life pass you by, maybe it’s time to start getting your feet wet. Think about something small you can do to get out there and participate in your life, instead of sitting back and letting other people take the reins. It doesn’t have to be huge. But if you do take a giant step out of your comfort zone, although that would be a quantum leap forward, be aware if you feel you have failed when you do so, that you might give up entirely. Sometimes a smaller shift will be more comfortable and you can make more and more decisions to take control of your life as you relax into the new feelings it evokes.
Sometimes only other people can see if you are playing to not lose. Fear reigns in this style. If you are facing layoff at the office and are trying to figure a way out of having it happen to you, you may be playing not to lose. The difference is moving forward in fear vs. feeling excitement at the possibilities that may be opening up for you. Do you find ways to make yourself more valuable? Maybe look at other possible jobs that are available? Or do you shrink back in fear and whine and worry? Complaining and playing the victim happen to everyone from time to time, but if you live there it’s not fun for others to be around you for a long period of time. So try to be more self-aware and honest with yourself. People won’t be so obvious as to run screaming from the room or avoid you at all costs when they see you coming, but you can tell.
And lastly, if you play to “win”, how do you do it? With force and being pushy? Or do you do it for the joy of life? For the challenge that’s fun? Life should be an adventure. One you can live with love and joy and laughter. Can you?