Sometimes when we want something in our life, it comes easily and sometimes not so much. When it doesn’t, do you settle for less? Less money on your raise at work; less of a relationship with your parents or siblings, or children; less happiness in your romantic relationship…?
If you do, and you remember specific times, how often does that happen? Honestly, if we aren’t happy, it’s time to reflect. Unless you’re under 18, there is something you can do about it. Sometimes we need to run far from horrible situations, and sometimes we need to stand up to things and people. That is an individual call, but “taking it” is settling for far less than what you deserve. And compromising can be a fine thing unless you feel you are the only one doing it.
Let me say one thing about that. First, if you don’t think you deserve better or that’s the best you can do, look at others. Do you think they deserve to have a wonderful job, more money, more love, more…? If you do (maybe with an exception or two for impossible people), then why don’t you believe that you don’t deserve it? What makes you soooo horrible or so different that you don’t deserve the best out there if you think others do? Sometimes we think, if only they knew the real me, they would know I don’t deserve more (I’ve been there!)…I say baloney! If you feel that way, you have already atoned for whatever it is that you think is so bad. You are a beautiful being that deserves the best and settling for less than that, is just a choice.
So look at your life. Where do you feel you are settling? Can you make it better and stay with the person or in the situation? Do you need to distance yourself to have some peace because you have to stay connected, or maybe you need to find a new and better situation, whatever it is?
Don’t just leave and run unless you’re in danger. Think about what you truly want first. See if it looks possible where you are to have it. Maybe it just means talking to your boss for a larger raise showing them all you do, or asking for a different assignment to feel like you like your job more. Or perhaps it’s finding ways to work with your spouse or children so the relationships will improve once communication is better and everyone has aired how they feel.
Once you’re clear on what you want and what will work for you, have that talk, make that shift and realize that you DO deserve to have joy in your life, and not to settle for less.