A couple of months ago I blogged about feeling lonely. Being alone doesn’t equate to being lonely. Lonely is gut deep and makes you feel like there isn’t anyone around you that really knows you or loves you.
I also spoke about loving yourself more so you can be in your own company and not feel alone, but the next step, after you say, you know usually I’m fine alone, but I’m still lonely on more occasions than I’d like, is to take a step some people aren’t comfortable with if they are more introverted. Yes, get out of the house and find “your people”!
If you feel like I do, lonely in a large group because you tend to shy away from talking, you may need to adjust your thinking a bit like I did. Usually if you feel shy, you may feel awkward, not know what to say or be afraid of saying something stupid and then being judged. But, if you basically like people, you can take baby steps to being more comfortable.
First, look for meetups or clubs that you’re interested in at a time that works for you. Try to actually go to the meeting and not find an excuse not to! When you get there be prepared to say a couple of sentences about yourself, but then, really listen to what others are saying; be curious about them. Ask them questions that occur to you – when the moment is right. If you have common ground you can stick to those subjects, but sometimes it’s even more interesting to ask them questions about something you don’t know about. If they have a business you can ask what drew them to that business, or what makes a certain hobby so exciting…
And make sure to exchange business cards or contact information if appropriate, and then actually follow up! Tell them how much you enjoyed speaking with them, and ask if they’d like to get together for coffee. Build your connections and I promise, you won’t feel so lonely if you keep working at it!