Did someone in your life ever say, if only you were more like your sister…your brother…Aunt Helen…or did you say that to yourself? I guess I was lucky as I never had someone say that to me that I can remember. Instead, I did it to myself…if I were only like Michelle Pfeiffer or Goldie Hawn (dating myself here!)…popular and successful and fun…then I’d be happy. This thinking made me feel less, like I wasn’t enough. Did you ever feel that way too? Of course, we have to remember that this other person isn’t perfect either.
Basically it’s like comparing apples to oranges.
Let’s try to stop comparing ourselves to others so that we come up lacking. That friend who just got promoted, the sister who found the love of her life and has a new baby, or that great ballplayer that just got the multimillion dollar contract may look great on the outside, but you may not know that they have a drinking or gambling problem, or may be losing their house, or their wife just left them. Whether rich or famous, or just a family member, they have their fears, insecurities and problems too.
If you can’t stop comparing yourself, then look for the reason at depth that causes your envy. If it is because they have what you want, try to go beyond that. If you must compare, look at their values, their beliefs and their habits and then look at yours. Don’t make yourself be or feel less, but do realize that you can be more if you want to. Don’t try to be a duplicate of the person you are comparing yourself to. That job is already taken! Even if you feel cranky or things aren’t going their best you can choose to be your best self; the wonderful, fabulous person you are at depth and were meant to be.