Are you one of those people who is always apologizing for yourself? If you’re late you say – sorry…and then give someone an excuse? Or you take the blame for things when it isn’t necessary? I know a few wonderful women – although men are not exempt from this – who seem especially gracious and self-effacing. But if you listen to them closely they are always apologizing and saying, sorry, I…
Most people aren’t even aware they’re doing this. Sometimes it says something about their self-confidence, or lack thereof. So if you think this isn’t you, pay attention to whenever you say you’re sorry and see if it is actually appropriate or if you are just putting yourself down and really devaluing yourself. If it happens a lot, people who are on the other end of the “sorry” can get uncomfortable. It almost feels like someone is placing themselves one step below you by doing this.
And if you say “sorry” 20 times in one conversation, you are probably nervous around the person. You may be feeling like you can’t do anything right or have them on a pedestal – like a boss, a movie star or even someone you are just attracted to. It’s normal, but try to be aware because lacking self-confidence happens to all of us at one point or another, but how you respond is the key.
Perhaps it’s time to change our tactics so we can help our self-worth a little. When it is appropriate to say “I apologize”, by all means do that, but how about saying thank you instead, or in addition. An example would be… “I apologize for being late (nothing more than this) – thank you so much for waiting for me.” Or … instead of saying I’m sorry I didn’t come through doing something you can simply thank the person who did, without referring to yourself. This means instead of going inward and beating ourselves up, we focus outward and give credit to someone for what they’re doing.
It may take time, effort and paying attention to change the habit, but if we can boost our self-confidence even a percentage point or two, it will make a world of difference and start us on a path to being a happier you.