On the flip side from last week’s The Power of Yes, the power of NO is pretty amazing as well.
Are you a “yes” man or woman? Do you say yes to people to make them like you? Or maybe to have less waves and conflict in your life? Perhaps you think if you say no that people will leave, a bully will beat you up, you’ll lose your job or your life will fall apart.
If you always say yes, realize that NO can also be empowering. What if you say no to being the person people always expect to step in and save the day; whether with car pool duty or working overtime? Saying yes all the time in an empowered way is great, but when you are giving your power away, the word NO may be the most empowering.
As I mentioned in the last blog, The Year of Yes by Shandra Rimes is an amazing book. Besides YES, she also speaks of saying Yes to No, meaning if you don’t want to do something, it isn’t healthy or good for you, and you normally say Yes, it is okay and even healthy to say NO this time.
Think of all the times you say yes and wish you hadn’t. If the word NO becomes dangerous for you due to someone who abuses you in some way, for heavens sake, use the word sparingly and then get the heck out of that situation; but other than that, the word NO can not only empower you, but make people appreciate and respect you more. You won’t be everyone’s doormat like you might not only feel like, but others may see you as, if you never use that word.
Look at yourself and be honest. How do you use these two words? When do you say yes and when do you say no? How do you feel about yourself when you say them? Do you feel cowardly, fearful or put upon but still use the word? Or do you feel empowered and happy when you use them?
Yes and No. Which one and when? You decide.