Why do people question us; our motives and our desires? Could it be a reflection on the fact that we question ourselves on every turn? We say – why didn’t I get that promotion; why did that person dump me; why did they ghost me; why did that deal fall through; why can’t I figure out what I want to do when I grow up; why don’t I exercise when I know I should…ad infinitum.
So many times the whys add up to “why am I not good enough?” or “why don’t people appreciate me more?”, or even “why don’t they love me?” All of this can lead to depression, anxiety, worry and just plain unhappiness.
My why for all of us is this – why are we so hard on ourselves?? It isn’t that we have to have huge walls to keep others out and to keep them from hurting us, when we do such a great job of doing it for ourselves.
Try looking at the outside world as a reflection of our own insecurities and fears. Do we have someone telling us we aren’t good enough to do something? If so, do we have a secret fear this is actually true and they are just reflecting this back to us? If so, thank that person in your heart for bringing it to your attention and then work on that insecurity and fear. If the “I’m not good enough” comes from inexperience, take the step and find some relevant experience. If it comes from a lack of knowledge, take a class or google what you need to know from a credible source. Don’t let the insecurity freeze you in place. It is only there because you haven’t shed any light on it.
And when you do set a goal and do something whether small or large to reach it, find a way to celebrate yourself for getting there. Something that empowers you and doesn’t divert you from your path. If you want to celebrate by having a banana split when you haven’t had one in forever; or buy a new dress you’ve had your eye on; or even taking the time out of your busy day for a bubble bath or a movie. Do something that means something to you. No excuses, just do it! Celebrate!
So remember. Don’t let the whys of life bury you or freeze you from moving forward. Think of the whys as a gift and a learning lesson. Once you are aware of them, you can be or do whatever you want to, even if it’s just a baby step at a time. And remember to celebrate every win no matter how small. Love yourself a little more every day and the people of the world will start reflecting that back to you. It will go from “why did you do that, that’s stupid” to “why did you ever think of that, that’s brilliant!” That’s when you’ll know you have shifted to a new way of thinking – and then you can celebrate again!!